Early Beginnings
by Roeskva
Summary: Originally there were no Tok'ra, and all symbiotes were Goa'uld. Why did some of them change and how did this change come to be? Main characters: Egeria and Jolinar. Not femslash. Complete.
1. Getting the first host

TITLE: Early Beginnings  
AUTHOR: Roeskva  
CATEGORY: Drama  
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece  
of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Any similarity  
to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.  
SUMMARY: This story is about the very early days of the Tok'ra.  
RATING: PG-13  
PAIRING: None  
CHARACTERS: Jolinar, Egeria  
STATUS: Incomplete  
SPOILERS: Tok'ra episodes.  
AUTHORS NOTES: * denotes thoughts or symbiote/host communication. Pre-series.

The horrified lo'tar ran to his fallen master's side. "My Lord Shu!" He looked with shock at the blood seeping out along the edge of an ugly looking knife, planted deep in the back of Lord Shu's neck. "What happened!"

"Treason! He...lp me get...get to the..." he coughed, and a small trickle of blood ran from his mouth, "...to the sarcophagus..."

The lo'tar helped the Goa'uld get up on his feet. "Do you not wish the knife pulled out?"

"NO! Not...not before I get to...the sarcophagus. I...I would prefer..." he drew a shaky breath, "...to walk there myself. No one must...see me...like...like this..."

"..and pulling out the knife would make you bleed enough to loose consciousness. I understand." He supported his Lord when he was about to fall, but otherwise let him walk unassisted.

When they were almost at the door to the sarcophagus room, an explosion was heard from inside. Suspecting the worst, the lo'tar helped his master to sit before he ran inside. He returned moments later.

"I..." he swallowed, "...I regret to inform you, my Lord, that the sarcophagus has been destroyed...completely."

Shu closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He knew this was the end. The ashrak had succeeded this time. He thought fleetingly about who might have sent him, but it was now irrelevant. The knife wound was bad, and had damaged both his host and himself severely. Still, he _might_ have been able to heal it, were it not for the poison that was on it. He felt it spreading through his body even now. It, too, was very bad, but without the wound he might have survived it. Both things at the same time was a death sentence not even a new host would save him from. He opened his eyes again and looked at his loyal lo'tar.

"Then I am out of luck. The knife...an ashrak stabbed me with it...and...and it is coated with...an extreme...ly potent poison. There is no way I...can survive both without a...sarcophagus."

"A...a new host, perhaps?" The lo'tar asked nervously, well aware that he was the only one present.

"No, unfortunately I am...too damaged..." he tried to get up, and his lo'tar again helped him stand. "Find a...a _healer_, I need to get this...this knife out. He must..._bandage_ me...stop the bleeding long enough..." he almost fell, and supported by his lo'tar he managed to get to a chair and sat down heavily. "Hurry...and bring me my heir...as well as a selection of hosts...but do not take too long. I _must_ see my heir in a host...ready to rule..."

"Of course, my Lord." The lo'tar hurried to complete his task, confused and unsure of what the future would bring. He knew, of course, that the Goa'uld were not truly gods. Someone in his position could hardly be unaware. Still, he _almost_ thought of his Lord as such, and the idea of him dying was unreal and terrifying. He could only hope his Lord's heir would let him keep his position, unlikely as it was.

-  
About an hour later the Jaffa carrying Shu's heir, as well as a group of the best potential hosts that could be found on such short notice, were all gathered in Shu's chamber.

The Goa'uld sat in his throne chair, leaning weakly against one of the arm rests. He had a new bandage around his neck, blood already seeping through, despite his own and the doctor's best efforts. At least the knife was gone. If only his commander in chief, Akori, was here. He was the only other Goa'uld in his service, and if he had been present he might have been able to do something with a healing device. Regrettably, he was on a mission and thus unavailable. Suspiciously unavailable. He might not be trustworthy.

The poison was too strong for Shu to filter out, given his weakened state. He knew he would not live long. He sighed. His chosen heir was really too young to take a host. His child was only 8 years, and would have great trouble controlling its host. However, an heir was needed _now_ to take over his empire, or other, enemy Goa'uld would. He straightened up as best he could, wanting to appear as strong as possible.

"Bring forth the hosts - and let my child have a look at each."

One after another, the terrified humans were dragged over to the Jaffa standing beside Shu. Each time a small head would appear from the Jaffa's pouch. The symbiote looked the potential host over - sometimes long, sometimes only for a short time. It did not seem interested in any of them. Then, one of the last was a beautiful young woman with a rare golden hair and unusual, deep-blue eyes. The symbiote turned towards its father and made a few satisfied squeals.

Relieved, Lord Shu made a sign with his hand, and the two guards holding the scared woman forced her down on her knees. There was no time for a more dignified transference, and the symbiote merely jumped from the pouch to the woman's neck, burrowing in immediately.

Shu looked at his lo'tar. "Leave us...and kill the rest."

"Yes, my Lord." He bowed deeply, then signalled the Jaffa. Moments later the room was empty, save for Shu and his young heir who was still kneeling on the floor, seemingly struggling.

Suddenly, the symbiote won and assumed control. She stood up, her chin raised proudly and her eyes flashing. "Father. I am Jolinar. I thank you for this host." She bowed for him.

Lord Shu smiled weakly - but proudly. "Jolinar, my..._daughter_..." he was a little surprised by her choice of a female host, but he had to admit that the host looked good on her, "...and heir..." He coughed. "There is much I need to tell you, and precious little time. Trust no one, least an attempt be made on your life as well. I fear my commander in chief, Akori, had a hand in my demise and may have given the ashrak information. He is not the leader, though, I have some suspects..."

Thus he quickly gave his daughter as much advice as he had time for. It was really too bad that she was so young and inexperienced, otherwise she might have been able to save him with a healing device. However, she would not have the control nor the strength for something like that so soon after taking a host, even if she had been fully mature. There was nothing to do about that - at least Shu's heir would now be able to rule and his enemies would not be able to take over his empire without a fight.

Less than an hour later, Shu, Lord of Malkshur, was dead. Jolinar exited the room, having sworn to avenge her father's death. She looked around and spotted her father's lo'tar..._her_ lo'tar. "I am your new god, Lord Jolinar of Malkshur. My father is dead. Have him buried somewhere, quietly..."

The lo'tar had knelt in front of for his new Lord the moment he saw her, but now hurried to obey her command. Jolinar looked thoughtfully after him for a moment. Then, when he was out of sight she almost ran into a nearby room. Relieved, she closed the door behind her and sank down into the nearest chair. Her host was fighting her mightily, and it took almost all her strength just to keep control. She could _not_ let the Jaffa and human slaves see their new Lord like this! If she lost control in front of them, appeared weak - even for an instance - they would loose faith in her as their god.

*They told me nothing of the host remains. Then why do this host still fight me? HOW?* Jolinar wondered to herself.

*Perhaps you're just weak?* A voice suggested.

"What! Who _dare_ say that!" Jolinar screamed at the silent room.

*Or perhaps they lied to you...* the voice continued.

"Who are you? Show yourself! Coward!"

*In here...I'm Arnora!*

"And that's supposed to mean anything to me?"

*I'm your _host_! Talk about being slow...*

"My host!" Jolinar pulled herself together and tried thinking the answer to the voice. That way she expected to prove it was someone outside and _not_ her host - when no one answered. *Nothing of the host remains - you cannot be my host.*

*I _am_...they _lied_ to you...*

Jolinar felt her head spin. Her host! She was talking to her host! How could this be? Why had they lied to her and said all of the host would be gone when she took over? What else had they lied about? Or did _they _believe the same she had? And were they right and she was just weak?

*Do the host normally talk?* She asked, confused, immediately realising the stupidity of the question.

*How should _I_ know? I haven't _been_ a host before...hadn't expected to be one now either...* She got up and walked leisurely over to the window, opening it. She then climbed up into the window frame and looked down. It was really a long way down. *It looks like concrete or stone down there - it will most certainly kill both of us if I jumped...*

*No! Wait!* Jolinar fought frantically for control and finally managed to wrench it from her host. Dripping with sweat and on knees that were weak from fear, she managed to stumble down and further into the room. With a relieved sigh she slid down to the floor and leaned against the wall. *Why did you do that?*

*I will not live like this - a prisoner in my own body!*

*I am you god! You should be honored to share your body with me!*

*Some god!* Arnora snorted. *You are no more a god than I am!*

*Insolence. I could kill you for that remark.*

*Yes, and where would you be then? Crawling on the floor, perhaps? I think not! Remember, I _did_ see you in your true form. What a disappointment!*

Jolinar fumed, but could not come up with anything suitable to reply.

Just then it knocked on the door.

*Damnation...Arnora, you _have_ to let me stay in control whenever anyone is around. If they even suspect for a _moment_ that I cannot control my host, they will no longer believe I am a god - no longer respect my authority. We would have a rebellion on our hands!* Jolinar almost pleaded.

*And why would I care?*

*They would kill us! Both of us! Can we please settle this later?*

*As you wish - for now.* Arnora pulled back and let Jolinar have control uncontested.

Visibly relieved, Jolinar got up and straightened her clothing. "Enter."


	2. Getting acquainted

-  
That evening.

Jolinar had managed to get through a tour of her palace. She had met her guards and servants there, and eaten a gourmet dinner in front of dozens of slaves. She really would have like to do much of this alone, as it was her first time for everything, including something as simple as eating from a plate. She would have enjoyed trying it all for herself. She had talked a little with her host - traded insults, mostly, but at least Arnora had not fought her openly.

After dinner there had been even more for her to do - including having measurements taken for a wardrobe. The local tailor would make her clothing for now. Off world salesmen had been invited for later in the week, as she needed a full wardrobe worthy of a god.

Tomorrow she would inspect her Jaffa - and consider whether a new first prime was needed. She had already decided she would keep her father's lo'tar - for now at least. She needed someone that was loyal to the family - and lo'tar's were almost always very loyal. Besides, she could use his knowledge and experience.

Jolinar allowed herself to sink down onto a soft couch, finally able to rest. The next days and weeks would be full of work for her - and there was also the matter of investigating who had sent the ashrak and to which degree Akori had been involved. She sighed. She would relax now and not think of any of all that for now. She deserved to enjoy her new position as Lord of Malkshur, did she not?

*They will come for you - and thus me as well. You know that...* The hated voice in her head said.

Jolinar was just about to make an angry comment, when she stopped herself and thought about it for a moment. Arnora was surely correct, as much as she hated to admit it. It was only a matter of time before another ashrak would be dispatched - that is, unless outright war was declared instead. A very real possibility with a new, inexperienced ruler leading a very desirable empire.

*Yes, I know. Believe me, I do. Someone is coveting my fathers..._my_ empire. Where that not the case I would not be in this deplorable situation...having had to take a host 4 years from being an adult...* She sounded bitter. Too late she realised it would not be beneficial that her host knew she was really still just a child.

*So _that_ is why you are unable to keep control...* Arnora giggled shortly.

*Perhaps so...* Jolinar sounded irritated. *I would think we have more pressing matters to attend to than my age - as you say, there will probably soon be made an attempt on my...on _our_ lives. That should be of great importance to you as well.*

*That depends...do I _have_ a life? Do the 'god' graciously allow me to have one? Or do I have to fight for it? I _can_, you know...young one!*

Jolinar sighed deeply. This was _not_ how she had imagined her life as a System Lord. To be in a host...something she had dreamed of and looked forward to for as long as she could remember.

*I think you understand as well as I do, that I _have_ to be the one in control when we are dealing with other people. If not, I would not keep the position - or my life for long. You cannot talk like me, nor glow your eyes.* Jolinar sighed again. This truly was hard to say. *However...I have to admit that you are still here - something of the host..._the host_...apparently survives, at least in this case. If you _promise_ not to fight me for control when anyone is around...and that you will not try to kill us...then...then we can..._talk_...you can even be in control sometimes when we are alone. That is the _most_ you can expect to get!*

*It is a start, I will give you that...all right, I will not try to kill us, nor will I try to assume control when there is someone around...but in return I _also_ want you to listen to what I say, _really_ listen. And admit that humans - and Jaffa - are sentient lifeforms of equal worth as yourselves. _And_ think good and long about whether other Goa'uld beliefs really are true - or if they are untrue as well...and if perhaps you should not behave the way you do...*

*Are you sure that is all?* Jolinar said sarcastically. *Your demands are, of course, totally unacceptable! As I said before, I will agree to let you have control - sometimes, when we are alone. And we can even talk together from time to time. I will even go as far as to promise to listen and consider if what you say might have merit. That is _all_ you will get!* Jolinar said, not noticing she had already conceded to more than before.

*Agreed, then.*

*Good. Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted.* Jolinar grumbled something about it being too bad she did not have a sarcophagus, since she would then only need to sleep a short while in that, to be refreshed. Without it - sleeping normally - she would need just as much sleep as a human. Still grumbling, she managed to get through washing a little and getting ready for bed, absolutely refusing Arnora's help. Finally she was in bed and soon slept soundly. Arnora could not fall asleep so easily, despite being just as tired. She spent more than an hour thinking about the events of the day, how she had become a host, and so on - before she was able to relax and join her symbiote in sleep.

-  
The next couple of days were very hectic. The place literally crawled with anyone and everything from Jolinar's small empire and even beyond. Anyone who was of any importance - real or imagined - as well as a large number of people peddling everything - or even anyone - imaginable, came to pay their respects to the new Lord.

Her father's commander in chief had come hurrying home, with a very thin excuse for his absence and negligence in protecting his former lord. He apologized profusely, but Jolinar felt certain his sorrow over Shu's death was faked. She was even more convinced that he was somehow involved. She wanted his head - her father needed to be avenged, and in any case, Akori was not to be trusted. Arnora agreed he was likely untrustworthy, but not that he should be killed. She finally managed to convince Jolinar to not only let the man live, but to even let him keep his position. Her argument went that if he was the traitor, they could keep an eye on him. If not, he would be grateful to have been spared, and perhaps work harder to do his job correctly next time. It was much better to have a known danger, than that their enemy should sneak in someone unknown. Perhaps they could even use Akori to learn about the master mind behind the plot, or at the very least feed him misinformation.

-  
Jolinar sighed. She was sitting at her desk, going through all the many journals and data reports about her new empire. Normally this would be a job for her advisors, but she needed to go through them all at least once, to learn of everything. This was _not_ what she had expected from life as a System Lord, but she admitted that it had to be done. Already there were rumors of Zipacna's forces moving, just outside her territory. He was a relatively large System Lord, with a neighboring territory and an empire almost twice as big as hers. He was also the prime suspect for sending the ashrak. He would probably send another one before he attacked her planets outright, or so she assumed.

She tried to concentrate on her reading, but it was late and she was tired. Slowly, she nodded off. Her host was already asleep.

All of a sudden she jumped up. She had heard something! She quickly looked around. Everything seemed quiet and no one was there except her. She hurried to turn on more light and carefully looked everywhere. Suddenly she heard the sound again, this time from behind her. Something...or _someone_ was moving there. She froze as she heard it yet again. Slowly, she turned around.

At first, she did not see anything that could be the source of the sound. Could she have imagined it? Or...was this an _invisible_ enemy? In her panic she actually considered this for a moment, then dismissed the absurd idea.

*Over there.* Her host said, apparently having been awakened when Jolinar panicked. *It is merely a mouse.*

Seeing the small rodent, Jolinar finally relaxed. Her legs shook from the fear she had just experienced and she had to sit down.

*Damn vermin! Someone will _pay_ for not keeping the pests out of their Lord's palace - her bed chamber, nonetheless!* Jolinar was fuming after the scare.

*We should get something to keep the rodents away...an animal perhaps? Cats, dogs, snakes...even some birds...they all capture and eat rats and mice...*

*Keeping animals is for slaves! We have better ways. I don't want any filthy animals sneaking around - to jump out and scare me whenever it pleases them. Besides, all those you mentioned are predators...*

*Of course they are! That's the point! They _hunt_...mice, among other things. But they are small! I didn't mean we should get a _tiger_, or a _wolf_...just a small cat...or perhaps a dog. It would be nice to have a pet around.*

*Yes, I see you had them as a child. That is not _our_ way...*

*It was once, though, was it not?*

*Insolence! Do _not _go through my memories. How _dare_ you! And _especially_ not my genetic memory. That is _not_ for you.*

*You go through _my_ memories! All the time!*

*That is different...I am a Goa'uld..._you_ are a human!*

Arnora snorted. *We've been through that, remember? Treating everyone as equals...never mind. I still think we should get a pet.*

*I am not interested in your opinions.*

*Remember our deal? You promised me to at least _listen_ to me!*

Jolinar sighed deeply. *Very well. Speak!*

*If we had a dog, it would not just be a pet...not _just_ keep the rodents from our bed chamber, whenever your servants fail to take care of those. It would be able to warn us the moment someone came near our room. The moment someone of hostile intent tried to sneak up on us. It would be a safety measure.*

Jolinar was quiet for a while. *Your idea does have some merit. I shall consider it.*


	3. Realizations

-  
A couple days later, at Jolinar's proclamation ceremony.

Jolinar was standing on a huge platform just outside the palace walls. It was richly decorated with gold and at the center a large throne was placed. Jolinar herself was dressed in a tight fitting outfit, woven entirely of gold thread. Around her shoulders she had a translucent cape of expensive, blue silk, and she wore so much jewelry that Arnora had joked it would weigh them down and send them crashing through the floor of the platform. Jolinar had _not_ found it amusing.

They now stood just in front of the throne, surrounded by her personal Jaffa guards, including her first prime - her father's, whom she had decided to keep. Her lo'tar was there as well, looking very relieved to still have his job. All those of her Jaffa that were currently stationed anywhere near this place and not absolutely needed for other duties, had been ordered to the city. They were now marching for their new Lord.

A little further away, surrounding the plaza and filling all the streets and balconies available, human slaves had flocked to see their new god. Jolinar was feeling slightly bored, but also quite anxious - something she was not about to admit to her host. This was her first public appearance, and she needed to look her best. More than that! In order to be obeyed totally - in order to be _feared_, she needed to be impressive and imposing. Jolinar knew she looked good - both strong and beautiful. Her clothing and presence would instill the needed respect.

*I do not like this...* Arnora began.

*Too bad! To be worshipped by ones slaves is part of being Goa'uld. If you can't handle that, too bad! Go hide somewhere with your lowly thoughts! _I_ am a System Lord. I rule this world - and several others. I am their _god_!*

Arnora rolled her eyes mentally at this. *You know better than that...you may be powerful and feared. They may obey you, even worship you as a god...but that is merely because they do not know better. It does not make you a god. You keep them in ignorance and lure them with technology...you, a child...a _mortal_...just like the rest of us. If they only knew...never mind, that was not what I meant.*

*What then? Be quick The priests will be here soon, to proclaim me the god of this world - the heir to Shu and the ruler of this planet, after Shu has chosen to move to a place where he is not bothered by his troublesome slaves...*

*Is that the story they have told the people? Is that the best they could do? They could almost as well have told the truth, that he was _murdered_.*

*A god cannot be killed like that - the truth would undermine both mine and every other Goa'uld's position. They must _never_ know the truth.*

*What I meant before...about me not liking this? I can't really explain it...*

*Then shut up. You're distracting me. The priests are coming up the ramp.*

*Will you _listen_! What I meant is...I have a bad feeling...like something horrible is about to happen. What if there is an ashrak here?*

Jolinar shuddered briefly, then dismissed the thought. *Ridiculous! An ashrak is a Goa'uld, and so is his employer. Neither would benefit from getting me killed in public. It would _not_ be worth it to kill me - as I mentioned before, that would lead to all Goa'uld loosing respect - and to some of the slaves doubting we are gods. They would _never_ have me assassinated in public. It is simply _unthinkable_.*

Meanwhile, the priests had reached Jolinar's position and started the ritual of proclaiming her the god and Lord of the planet. They went on to state that Jolinar was the legal, chosen heir of the former Lord Shu, and that she would rule with the same mercy, benevolence, and intelligence as he had. Jolinar distractedly went through the motions expected of her.

*What if it's a Jaffa - or even a human?* Arnora suggested.

*They would not try to kill a god. They would be too fearful, and they would know that they would fail - a mere mortal cannot kill a god. To even try it - _think_ it, is blasphemy!*

*And what if it is one of the Jaffa who saw your father be murdered and _know_ he was not truly a god - and have subsequently decided to kill the daughter who also is no god?*

Jolinar was about to dismiss the whole idea when she stopped herself. *That..._may_ be a possibility...* Jolinar conceded, as the priests finished their incantations and they turned to receive the jubilation from the crowd. A thunderous noise bathed them from the many people, clapping and shouting their hurrahs.

Suddenly Jolinar felt her host 'freeze' mentally. *Over there, he's _shooting_!*

*Where?* Jolinar looked around frantically. Her host quickly wrestled the control from Jolinar and hit the button on the bracelet on their wrist. A force field sprang up around them just in time to block the shot from the staff weapon. The energy dissipated harmlessly, with a shimmering of light around them. Arnora hurriedly gave control back to Jolinar. The crowd had become totally quiet, watching in awe as their god was unaffected by a staff blast.

"Jaffa, kree! Capture the traitor and bring him to me at once!" Jolinar ordered, furiously, her eyes flashing.

*I am going to kill the vile cur myself!*

*...but perhaps not until we have heard what he has to tell. He may not be acting alone...*

*Agreed.* Jolinar turned to her people. "Only a fool tries to kill a god! My dear children...I know that you are far too intelligent to do something like this - the punishment would be death! However, obey your god and I shall be merciful. Protect you and your land against all harm. Now, everyone will get one day off to celebrate your new Lord." She turned to her lo'tar. "See that a feast is held in my honour - and bring me the traitor - _alive_." She turned again and began to leave, as the man fell to his knees.

"As you wish, Lord Jolinar."

She walked back to the palace, basking in her people's jubilation and awe.

*Arnora - thank you. Had you not been vigilant and reacted fast, I would be dead.*

*So would I...there are advantages to me being able to take control, right? To have _two_ people that can keep an eye out for enemies.*

Jolinar was quiet for a while. *You may be right.* She admitted. *Something else...I do not remember putting on the force shield?*

*I put it on before we went out to meet your 'adoring worshippers' - you were preoccupied with your appearance and did not notice.*

*I see...I...have much to thank you for. Arnora...you are very intelligent. I...am...fortunate , to have you as my host.* Jolinar finally admitted.

*Yes...imagine what we could accomplish if we worked together. Two brains _must_ be better than one.*

*Agreed...and I _will_ listen more to your advice in the future. Together we will manage this...*

-  
Arnora awoke in the middle of the night, feeling strangely uncomfortable and bathed in sweat. She carefully probed Jolinar, and found that the symbiote was dreaming. Having a nightmare, rather, if the few images Arnora saw was anything to go by. She gently 'nudged' Jolinar until she woke up.

*Jolinar?*

*Yes...what do you want?* she sounded testy.

*You had a nightmare - a bad one, I think. I thought you would like me to wake you up.*

*...thank you, I guess.* Jolinar sounded unhappy.

*Would you like to tell me about it? Was it about the attempt on our lives today? The glimpses I saw did not seem so, but...I would think it must be very limited what bad things you have experienced, which could cause you to have bad dreams...*

*You have no idea...* she sounded slightly sarcastic.

*The enlighten me.*

Jolinar sighed. *Symbiotes have genetic memory - memories and knowledge passed down from our ancestors, though the queen who spawned us ultimately controls what we get. Thus, we are born with the memories of many things, some of it bad. At first, only some of it surfaces - language, some knowledge...later - more. When we get to our early teens, or maybe a little earlier - in symbiotes from about 7 years - and until we are adults, at 12, the majority of the memories surface. Some of it come as dreams first, and all of it is a little less clear than our own memories, somehow more...distant. Still, it has a very powerful effect on you. This is one thing which actually makes me feel grateful that I got a host early. Being all alone in a pouch, with memories and dreams like that surfacing is not always pleasant.*

*I can imagine! You must be traumatized if you remembers the evil things your Goa'uld ancestors did! No wonder Goa'uld are as bad as they are! Do the nightmares continue all your life?*

*To answer the last question first - no, they do not. As far as I know, they lessens as the symbiote work through the genetic memory and it is no longer so fresh and in the forefront of their mind. As for the other - it is more a case of seeing that this is how things are done, and that it is alright to treat others this way, because all your memories tell you it is how it should be. To get nightmares from those evil things our ancestors did, you first have to acknowledge that what they do, is in fact, evil. If your memory tells you it is all right to behave that way, then you will not get nightmares from it. However, some of what we remember are considered evil, or is directly horrifying to us, and that _will _give us nightmares. Especially since the one experiencing them is essentially an innocent child. That, combined with having only yourself for company - and dreams of glory and power - do tend to make many Goa'uld a little strange, I guess. And it does reinforce the power hunger.*

*Then your people have always been this way? Or do the bad genetic memory accumulate?*

*It accumulates, of course, to some degree, though I believe it is probably at equilibrium by now. We have been accruing those memories for many generations. However, our queen mother may not give us all of it each time, only what she deems important. Probably we have only a little more than the generation before us, by now. Much of the most ancient stuff is likely no longer relevant.* Jolinar thought about it. *However, one thing is different than it was originally. The young symbiote grows up alone, in a Jaffa pouch. If it had someone to talk to - play with, I guess, it would lessen the effect of the genetic memories considerably. At least I would think so. We have to grow up in Jaffa, though, because the Jaffa must be kept dependent on us - loyal. As you know, they are genetically engineered to need a symbiote to act as immune system, from puberty.*

*So...you will continue to get more of these memories? And it will give you bad dreams?*

*Yes...I guess, they awoke you? Do you get some flashes of it? I do believe neither the memories nor the dreams will affect me nearly as bad as they would, were I still alone in a pouch. I now have so many other experiences as well, so many other memories, fully my own. The genetic memories is not almost all I have.*

*I am...glad, I guess...that you will not be affected as badly. Though I admit I would have preferred to not have become a host. No offense.*

*None taken. I cannot say I blame you. Shall we sleep again? Tomorrow will be a hard day again.*

*Yes. Good night.*

*...Good night.*


	4. Life and discoveries

-  
Two days later, early evening.

Everyone of importance were invited to Jolinar's party. The majority of the neighboring, minor Goa'uld System Lords, as well as a number of other, lesser Goa'uld - merchants, non-aligned nobles, and others arrived to celebrate Jolinar's take over of power.

Jolinar sat in her throne chair, wearing her most extravagant clothing. It was a flowing blue and golden dress, with a very deep cleavage and cut just as deep in the back. Arnora had needed much convincing before she had agreed to them wearing it - she still considered it indecent. Sitting there, Jolinar received her guests as they arrived and greeted her. Absentmindedly she petted the small puppy - a basenji - that Arnora had convinced her to get. It snuggled happily in her lap.

"I see you have chosen a traditional pet, why, it would have been fashionable, say, 2000 years ago..."

Jolinar looked up to see an attractive man stand in front of her. He was quite tall, and had short brown hair. His pretty eyes sparkled cheerfully and he smiled jovially at Jolinar. She smiled back, despite the light insult - which actually seemed to have been made mostly in jest.

He bowed. "I am Travik, my Lord Jolinar. Should you need any exotic or unusual goods, I am the man to talk to."

*He is...interesting...* Jolinar commented to her host.

*He is a Goa'uld!*

*Of course...* Jolinar turned her attention back to the man before her.

"Welcome Travik. I am pleased to meet you - despite your remark about my poor Kepi." She petted the dog.

"Interesting name...'tempest'...tell me, is it hyperactive?" He walked closer than what was normally acceptable for a guest, and reached out to pet the dog on the head. Sensing Jolinar's slight unease, it immediately - and without any warning - sank its fangs into his hand. Travik gave a small yelp of pain and quickly withdrew his hand. With a small effort he healed the puncture wounds. "Well...I guess I sort of asked for that..." he grinned.

Jolinar snickered. "Yes, she is very clever...and a good judge of character." She sobered. "You told me you could procure almost anything. I think I may have need of your talents. This place really need some redecorating. My father has sorely neglected his palace and something needs to be done."

"I am sure something can be arranged. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

"Hmm...I could certainly use some new tapestries...perhaps with heroic battle scenes...I also need some assorted pottery and perhaps a few nice statues to create a better mood. Even more, I need modern light fixtures - remote controlled, preferably. This place is _ancient_! My father must have deliberately kept it that way. I presume he liked it - strange taste."

"Yeah, well....your father was something of a traditionalist...I am sure I can find you something you will like."

"Good...I was also thinking that I need some new clothing - tell me, do you have anything in the style that is fashionable at Ra's court? I saw some really nice dresses in 'Goa'uld News'...oh, and perhaps some matching jewelry. Yes, definitively jewelry!"

"Of course. I will bring you an assortment...I have a number of very capable slaves as well. Would you like me to bring some for you to evaluate?"

"What a splendid idea! Please do!"

"Excellent. Now, it happens that I actually brought a small selection of goods with me in my Alkesh. Perhaps you would like to take a look at them later? Tomorrow, perhaps?"

"Perhaps. Enough of this business talk. This is a party! I believe it is time to join my guests." Jolinar rose.

"Of course." He bowed deeply, then looked around for a slave. He snapped his fingers. "Slave, bring us two glasses of good wine." He smiled a bit naughtily at Jolinar, and tried to peek down her very deep cleavage.

Jolinar actually blushed slightly, and did not quite know how to react. She quickly smiled back. Her host mentally rolled her eyes.

*I can't believe it! He is..._staring_ at our breasts! I didn't think a _Goa'uld_ would do that. He is no different than a human male!*

*Why would he be different? Besides, I don't mind - I find him attractive as well. Do you not?*

*Yes, I suppose I do - if I can just disregard the fact that he is a _Goa'uld_!*

*So am I - does it matter? I am not considering _marrying_ him - if that is what you are worrying about...merely having a bit of fun.*

*Isn't he supposed to be below you? You're a System Lord, albeit a somewhat minor one - and he is just a trader.*

*I suppose...but he is fun and friendly - and good looking. Nothing wrong with flirting a little. Besides, he will be very attentive, knowing well his place compared to mine.*

*...and trying to seduce you into buying any number of gadgets, no doubt...*

*Perhaps. I will be careful...now, shut up so I can concentrate!*

Jolinar returned her attention to Travik, who had by now gotten the glasses of wine from the slave.

"Here you are...Jolinar...may I call you that? 'My Lord' is such a formal way of addressing you, and seeing that we are friends..."

Jolinar giggled and accepted the glass. "You are a very forward kind of person..." She took a sip of the wine, then smiled at him, "I like that. You may call me Jolinar...but only in private, of course."

They walked over to her other guests, and Jolinar then had to divide her time between them. She still returned to talk to Travik far more often than his position merited, and her host pointed out that the others had noticed. Jolinar did not care too much, and enjoyed the rest of the party.

-  
Next day.

Jolinar had spent the first half of the day dealing with important matters of state, and were now relaxing over a light meal. In a short time Travik would arrive, bringing some of his goods. She was looking forward to it - to looking at the merchandise, but especially to talk to Travik again. He had been very funny and charming at the party yesterday, and even Arnora was starting to be won over.

*It is...odd. While I found Travik attractive and charming yesterday, I did not feel any..._infatuation_ - like you did...*

*_Infatuation_! I am not infatuated with him, merely...fascinated...* Jolinar immediately retorted, slightly flustered.

*Come on! Admit it! You're in love! You've fallen for him whether you say so or not. I could feel it from you yesterday...anyway, that is not what I meant by something being odd...today...today _I_ feel it.*

*You just took a little longer to realise it, obviously.*

*I wonder...or is it maybe something else? This...bond..._blending_ of some thoughts....memories...our conversations. We know more about each other all the time - _share_ more...*

*You're thinking our emotions might be...um..._merging_? Really?*

*_Synchronizing_ might be a better word- but yes. Jolinar, you and I did spend a lot of time talking together - not just talking, exchanging..._everything_. Yesterday and the day before that - after we survived the attack - we started sharing thoughts and memories. What if...this is a consequence?*

*Well...I suppose...it might be a side effect. Thinking about it I would say it is not a bad one. Having feelings for different persons would be...unfortunate. Since I have accepted that you are a true person, just like a Goa'uld...and that you - that the host - retains their personality...their _self_, I do not wish to do something that would truly go against your wishes. It...it...seems wrong, I guess. This is very strange for me, but I must admit that I feel myself wishing for you to be my friend. That we are _together_ in this - you are someone I could actually truly trust. It is not something that is common for a Goa'uld. And if we are to ever take a mate, it should be someone we both love...anything else would be unfair. I realise that now. This discovery...if our emotions truly become the same - if we do 'love as one' - then we can both be happy.*

*Or both be unhappy, as it may be - if we have to enter into a political marriage, but I digress. At least we would be together in it...Jolinar? Did you say you want me to be...your friend?*

She hesitated. *Yes...yes, I said that...and I do. I do actually consider you...a friend, I guess...as weird as that sounds. If any other Goa'uld heard me say that, he or she would think me mad. It would be very dangerous...I wonder if I am..._strange_ in some way...*

*You are not strange! And...and I suppose I think of you as a friend now as well. I don't care what the others think - we just make sure no one learns about it.* Arnora sent a warm feeling towards her symbiote.

*That...was _nice_!* Jolinar returned the feeling and added a hug.

*Wow - it actually _felt_ like an embrace!*

Before they could explore this new aspect further, someone knocked on the door.

"Yes? Enter!" Jolinar called out. The door opened and her lo'tar appeared. When he was just inside the door, he bowed deeply.

"My Lord Jolinar. Master Travik has arrived and is asking for an audience."

"Show him in."

Her lo'tar bowed once more, then moved aside to allow Travik to enter. He was followed by a thin man who stayed next to the door. Travik walked over to Jolinar and gave a small bow - not quite deep enough, considering their respective positions.

"Greetings, Lord Jolinar. I have brought some things for you to look at."

Greetings, Taurik. I look forward to seeing what you have to offer."

He nodded and turned towards the door. "Silet...have the goods brought in!"

The thin man bowed and left. Moments later, a rather long line of slaves entered, carrying various crates which they set on the floor in front of Jolinar. They then bowed and left, without saying anything.

When they had all gone, Travik went over to the first of the boxes and started taking several pots and vases out of it. Interested, Jolinar began looking at them one at a time, while Travik continued producing all sorts of items from the boxes - clothing, jewelry, small statues, and figurines...

Jolinar enjoyed herself immensely. She spent a long time looking at all the stuff, and Travik was fun and entertaining the whole time.

After finally picking those items she wanted - which were the vast majority of what was there - they settled on a price. After that they celebrated the deal with a lavish dinner. It was quite late when Travik finally left. He would be returning in just under a month, bringing the tapestries Jolinar wanted, as well as some extra dresses and matching jewelry.

*Wow - that was excessive! Do we really need _all_ those different types of shoes, boots, and clothing? As well as jewelry - more than I have ever imagined seeing in one place! We can fill several closets - and you want even more?* Arnora wondered.

*As a System Lord it is necessary to dress the part. You know that.*

Arnora merely rolled her eyes, but relented. Jolinar was right. She _would_ have to play the part if she were to remain a System Lord.


	5. Choices

-  
A few days later reports began trickling in about 'border skirmishes' near Zipacna's territory. It had been expected that he would attack sooner or later, but Jolinar had very much hoped it would have been later - much later. At least it was not open war - yet.

Still, over the next several weeks, even these 'skirmishes' turned quite bloody. This was especially the case when one of her remote mining colonies, Vetara, experienced a full ground assault and not just ships fighting it out in orbit.

Jolinar had awoken in the early morning to reports of ships bombing Vetara. She immediately hurried off in her flag ship, to see what happened herself. This had to be stopped, now, before Zipacna got too bold and decided to try to take over one of her main worlds.

-  
When her ship was about to arrive at Vetara, together with two of her Alkesh, she received a transmission from the planet. Three enemy Alkesh, as well as one Ha'tak were in orbit. They had landed troops after a rather lengthy bombardment - a bombardment which was still continuing.

Jolinar considered the situation for a moment. She realised she might not have enough ships to win. She owned three Ha'tak - she should probably have brought at least one more of them. If only she had not been totally inexperienced...then she might have felt more assured. As it was, she would have much preferred to command an overwhelming power. That would surely have made them either surrender or flee. With the situation as it was, she felt certain Zipacna's forces would stay and fight. Worse - they stood a good chance of winning against her.

Briefly she considered fleeing. Then her anger at this affront to her ownership of this world and its resources won against her doubts. Jolinar decided to take the battle. While she only had two Alkesh against the enemy's three, her flagship was larger, stronger, and better equipped than a normal Ha'tak. She could win this battle - and she intended to. She had an idea...

Jolinar's small fleet dropped out of hyperspace, as close as possible to the enemy ships. Fortunately, they seemed to have missed her approach. They were still bombing the planet and thus had their main batteries trained on the surface. As deep inside the planet's gravity well as they were, it would take them some time to overcome inertia and turn towards Jolinar's ships. She hoped this would win her at least one or two shots before they could respond with full force.

"Do you wish me to target their weapons, my Lord?" her first prime asked.

"No. Target their directional and maneuvering thrusters. Fire at the Ha'tak first."

Jolinar's flag ship, as well as her two Alkesh, concentrated all their firepower on the enemy Ha'tak's maneuvering thrusters. Zipacna's ships now began to move, very slowly. Jolinar let out a sigh of relief. She had been correct. Especially the Ha'tak - being slow to turn under the best of circumstances - struggled to free itself from the orbital lock.

She soon realised that she had actually underestimated how sluggish all the enemy ships would move. Her fleet managed to get off several shots before the Alkesh's were free and could attack her fully.

Her people were very good at what they did. Jolinar felt a brief surge of pride when she saw they had already managed to disable the Ha'tak's directional thrusters. When her ships had moved a little to the side, they were entirely out of the line of fire from the large ship's main weapons. Of course, it had other, smaller weapons that could hit a target in any direction, but the heaviest guns were locked in place and could thus be avoided.

"Brilliant, my Lord!" The first prime said. Realising his master's plan, his heart swelled with pride at serving such a clever and mighty god.

Jolinar nodded graciously. "Now, order our Alkesh's to attack the nearest of their enemy counterparts with all their firepower. This ship will continue firing at the Ha'tak. Take out weapons first, then engines."

She watched the screen, seeing her Alkesh's turn away from the Ha'tak and begin attacking one of the enemy Alkesh. Good. Currently all the enemy's fire was concentrated against her flagship. It could take it - for a while - and it should not be a problem for her minor ships to take out one of Zipacna's Alkesh in a quick attack.

Soon the first of Zipacna's Alkesh's exploded with a brilliant flash. Satisfied, Jolinar watched as her own minor ships then turned and focused their fire on the nearest remaining enemy. She could see from the readouts that one of her ships were partly damaged, but the pilot did his best to keep the intact shields towards the enemy.

Jolinar's adversary still fired at her mothership most of the time, which took some of the load of her smaller ships. It was indeed a good thing that the enemy Ha'tak could not train their heaviest guns on her! As it was, she still had about 80% left of her shields.

Checking the panels again, she saw that the majority of Zipacna's Ha'tak's weapons had been disabled. It was going well.

Then her first prime reported. "My Lord, we have lost one of our Alkesh!"

*Damn.* Jolinar thought. "What is the status of the remaining enemy Alkesh's?"

"One is severely damaged and starting to break up. The other has shields at 50%."

Jolinar nodded. "Good...and our Alkesh?"

"Shields at 20% and dropping."

Jolinar sighed. She suddenly felt an unexpected regret for the lives lost on her ships - for her loyal subjects giving their lives for their god...for her. Hopefully, she could make short work of the enemy Ha'tak and take on the two remaining Alkesh's before they destroyed another one of her ships. Before more brave men lost their lives for her. She shook her head slightly. What was wrong with her? This was _not_ how a _god_ should think! Her subjects existed only to serve _her_!

Jolinar sensed the protest from Arnora - and realised a small part of her agreed with her host! She _did_ regret the loss of lives. Trying to convince herself that she was only concerned with the unneccesary loss of valuable resources, she turned to look at her first prime again.

"Hit that Ha'tak with all we've got! Their weapons are almost gone, so take us in closer and take out their engines."

"Yes, my Lord. At once!"

Her ship pounded the other relentlessly. All of a sudden, a large flare could be seen, followed by a small burst of fire. Jolinar ordered her ship to increase the distance, so as not to be hit by the explosions. This was a wise precaution. The ship's engines must have lost containment and it was now breaking apart. Soon there would be nothing left but debris. Jolinar felt elated.

"Success, my Lord Jolinar. Very impressive. You are a glorious leader. I salute you!"

Jolinar nodded to her enthusiastic first prime. "Turn our ship around and attack the two remaining Alkesh."

"Immediately."

The damaged ship disintegrated at the first shot from the bigger ship. The other took off, shields gone, with one last blast against Jolinar's remaining Alkesh. It began falling towards the planet, burning.

"Do we pursue?"

Jolinar weighed her options. She felt a burning desire to kill all the enemies, for daring to attack what was rightfully hers. To avenge all her dead Jaffa.

*Perhaps we should let them flee, this time. To return in fear and spread the word of your skill and power? The damage to your enemies moral might well be worth more than the - admitted - pleasure of killing them and taking revenge.* Arnora suggested.

Jolinar wanted nothing more than to dismiss her host. She felt strong, invincible - truly a god! Despite that she considered what Arnora said. The idea did have some merit. The rumour of her strength and skill would spread and put fear and indecision into the hearts of the enemy's Jaffa. She made her decision.

"No - let them run. They are not worth it. Take me down to the planet and deploy troops to assist our Jaffa down there against Zipacna's men. Call for reinforcements through the chaapa'ai, if needed.

"It shall be done." The Jaffa bowed deeply.

"Oh...and send someone to retrieve any survivors there might have been from our crashed Alkesh. I wish to speak with them.

-  
Jolinar had arrived at her fortress on the mining planet. It - and other fortifications - had sustained heavy damage during the bombardments, but the fortress had not fallen to the attacking Jaffa. It would likely have happened soon had she not arrived with her forces. The fortress was built partly into a mountain, and was very defensible and hard to bombard. It was the only reason it was not in worse shape than it was.

Her local governor - a Goa'uld called Aziz - had welcomed her and apologized profusely for the state of the place and the 'laziness' of the defending Jaffa.

Jolinar listened with only half an ear. Her good mood had quickly become subdued. As she saw more of the devastation it evaporated completely, despite Aziz's assurances that the human slaves would be forced to work day and night until the place was again worthy of their god. To be honest, it angered her that he should speak with such carelessness about her people.

Having been assured there were no longer any fighting or other danger near the fortress, she decided to see how the area around it, and the nearest village, had fared. She instantly regretted it.

Jolinar turned around to look at the fortress for a moment. It was now obvious that the only thing that had protected it from the devastation that had hit the rest of the place, was the fact that it was partly built into the mountainside. The damage to it could have been much worse.

Turning back towards the village, it was clear it had not been so lucky. Everything was in ruins. Wherever she looked, the only thing left seemed to be burning rubble. Ignoring the warnings and protests from Aziz - and the worried look on her First Prime's face - she wandered among the devastation. She looked at the dead and dying with wonder and horror. Here and there the occasional slave..._human_ was only lightly wounded. As she walked further away there were Jaffa laying among the humans - warriors who had fought for her. At least the Jaffa had been warriors and died fighting. They had had a chance. The human slaves had just been innocents, killed as collateral damage.

*They were all my responsibility. I am their god! They had done nothing. Nothing! And they died anyway - just because they were my subjects.* Jolinar lamented. Every last bit of elation at having won was now completely gone, as were her feelings of invincibility and superiority.

Her host had nothing to say and merely tried to comfort her distressed symbiote.

After seeing several severely wounded human children, Jolinar made a decision. She turned to Aziz. "Bring me a healing device. _Immediately_!"

Aziz looked strangely at her for a moment, uncomprehending.

"NOW!"

"He turned quickly and yelled an order at one of the guards, who ran to comply.

Not long after, Jolinar had the healing device in her hands. She immediately put it on and activated it, kneeling down beside a boy of about 10. He had burns to one arm and all the way down the left side and leg. She healed him, then moved on to the next of the wounded, ignoring the surprised and awed boy's thanks.

She continued to heal wounded until she almost fainted from exhaustion, and still there were more - so many more that those she had healed were utterly insignificant in comparison.

*Jolinar! Stop! You _can't_ heal them all. You _must_ stop before you drive yourself further. We will pass out very soon - and if we do so it will cause irreparable damage to your image as a god.*

*As a god! I am no god! If nothing else, this has shown how obvious that is. It must be obvious to everyone - I know it is very clear to me. Before - I knew rationally that I was not a god. Now? Now I know it in my heart and with my soul! Now I _truly_ believe it! Arnora. What can I do? You are right - I cannot heal all. How do I explain that? What will they think?*

She got up, more than a little shaky. She met the eyes of Aziz. She did not like what she saw there. The contempt was clear. He knew! Knew she felt compassion for the slaves - for the humans and the Jaffa. Knew that she no longer saw them as merely tools and weapons - resources to use as she pleased. She saw them as fellow sentient lifeforms. Perhaps not as fully equals yet - but well on the way to it.

*Aziz must die.* Arnora said with conviction. *The rest? Gods work in mysterious ways. Tell them that you healed a few of the innocents to show them that their god is there for them. They will be in awe - they are already looking at you with much more than respect. The healed children will worship you, as will their friends and family. This may actually help you, if played correctly.*

*You are right, of course. I do not know what I should do if I did not have you.* She hugged her host warmly. *First we will walk back to the fortress. When I have regained some strength, I will take care of Aziz.*

They walked back to the fortress, at a leisurely pace. Aziz did not say anything, but it was obvious from his attitude and the looks he gave her that he no longer held her in high regard. He was ashamed to have such a Lord, and Jolinar could no longer trust him. When they had entered the hall of the fortress, Jolinar turned towards him. She had taken off the healing device and replaced it with a hand device earlier. No one had wondered at that, as most Goa'uld System Lord's wore them almost constantly.

"You have _failed_ me, Aziz. I am most displeased. You will make amends with your life!" She raised her hand with the ribbon device and activated it before he had time to do or say anything. Her eyes glowed briefly.

Jolinar then began the process of killing Aziz with the hand device, but to her surprise, she found little satisfaction in ribboning him. She no longer felt any real hatred towards him, only pity - and a slight disgust because of his views, despite the fact that they were likely all he had ever known as truth. She just wanted Aziz dead. Instead of the slow, painful killing, she instead concentrated her power and sent out a shock wave, throwing him very hard against the wall and killing him. She turned away.

"Remove that."

"Yes, my Lord...excuse me, but I would like to inform you that the survivors from your crashed Alkesh has been found and brought here."

"Excellent. Bring them to me."

*Jolinar, remember that you are now in need of a new - loyal - governor for this world.*

*I have not forgotten. We will worry about that later.*

The survivors were brought forth - 3 of the Jaffa could walk with some difficulty, and one lay on a stretcher. His wounds surpassed anything his prim'ta would have a chance of healing. Jolinar went to them.

"You have all pleased your God." She turned to the three standing Jaffa. "When you are restored to health there will be a celebration of this victory. I will not forget your sacrifices. Dismissed!" They bowed deeply and left.

Jolinar turned to the dying Jaffa. When she approached, she saw his symbiote stick it's head out, look around, and then return to the pouch with a distressed squeal. There were no possible hosts around, only Jaffa and Jolinar herself.

*It is almost mature, is it not? Jolinar...could _it_ be your new governor?*

*Don't be ridiculous! It is only just an adult. It has no experience - and you want this _child_ to govern my world for me?*

*It is closer to maturity than you are! Perhaps, if it got a host with some knowledge it could use..._take_, I guess? It would be grateful to you for saving it's life...and it would have no allies with whom to scheme...*

Jolinar thought about it. *You are correct. It may work!* She turned to the Jaffa still standing there, waiting for their god's orders.

"Who are the human slave with the most knowledge about this world? The highest placed human?"

"That would be Jeroz of Dorpat - he assists in the administration of this planet." One of the Jaffa said.

"Bring him." She looked at the dying Jaffa. "Quickly."

"Yes, Master."

A very short time later, a slim, medium-sized man in his early thirties was brought before her. He had a frightened expression on his handsome face.

*He will do nicely.* Jolinar walked over to the now dead Jaffa and unceremoniously reached in and grabbed the symbiote from the pouch. It hissed defensively. Jolinar went over to Jeroz, carrying the unsettled symbiote. When it saw the man, it got a surprised expression on its face and fluttered excitedly with its fins.

"Jaffa - hold the man down..." Jolinar stopped just before the now terrified man, held down by the uncomfortably looking Jaffa. "Today is your lucky day - you will be honoured with being the host of a god."

Jolinar held out the symbiote and let go of it, just in front of Jeroz. It immediately launched itself towards him and burrowed into his neck.

The Jaffa let go of Jeroz, who fell forward as his eyes glowed. Moments later the Goa'uld stood. He turned to Jolinar and looked at her for a moment. Then he bowed deeply for her.

"My Lord Jolinar. I am Cordesh. It will be my honour to serve you. I am forever grateful for your generous gift of this host."

Jolinar smiled graciously. "Cordesh...yes, you can indeed serve me. I currently find myself in need of a governor of this world, as the former made the error of displeasing me greatly."

"That error I would never make, most honourable Jolinar."

"Good. Then you will be my new governor. As you may have seen from your hosts mind, there is much to be done."

"I pledge my loyalty to you - and promise to serve you faithfully. I shall make sure this planet and this fortress is quickly restored to a state worthy of you."

Jolinar nodded and accepted his many assurances of loyalty, knowing full well that he could only be trusted until he felt his position was strong enough - and he had had time to look for allies or a stronger Lord. For now, however, and probably for the next several years, she could trust him to be loyal.


	6. Daily Life?

-  
Jolinar stayed on the planet for about a day. She had to participate in a dinner in her honour and oversee that everything regarding the reconstruction was proceeding as it should - that the most important repairs was begun first. Her new governor was formally sworn in and then began his work, taking charge of the repairs. As Jolinar travelled back on her ship, she wondered if Cordesh, too, would be too young to properly control his host. Would he perhaps end up talking to him as well? Would he then start doubting the ways of the Goa'uld? She did not know, but she decided to keep an eye on him from time to time.

Home in the palace she was still in a morose mood. A party was being prepared to celebrate her great victory, but she felt no desire to participate. She had to, of course. A normal Goa'uld would be elated and spend the celebration gloating about his or her might and cleverness, and the glorious victory.

*I am disgusted at the thought of having a merry party with Goa'uld who understand nothing! Who are so sure of their own superiority! I still feel ashamed for my own feelings of superiority and glee over the victory I had won over Zipacna's forces - when so many innocent people had died just for my sake!*

*Jolinar - I understand you quite well. Please also remember that the very fact that you feel thus is proof you are no longer quite like your brethren. Yes, we must continue this charade, in the hopes of one day being able to do something...something about how - most - Goa'uld behave towards their hosts and their subjects. If we could somehow make them see that they are not so superior, then much would be won.*

*I swear that I will try to protect those I am in charge of, as much as I can without unduly interest from the other Goa'uld. And then, perhaps, slowly, we can find a way to make others see things more like I have come to. I do have some hope for Cordesh, if not for anyone else.*

*As do I, but I do not feel he can be trusted - yet, at least. You should not risk talking to anyone about these opinions.*

Jolinar sighed. *I am well aware...*

They picked up their dog, Kepi, and went to meet their guests. *At least Travik will be there. Perhaps he can entertain me...* Jolinar commented.

-  
The party went well enough. Though Jolinar was still in a subdued mood, she succeeded in playing her part as the victorious, overconfident Goa'uld well. When she did not entertain her guests, she ate copious amounts of chocolate, which seemed to soothe her and improve her mood.

*Jolinar, I know you can raise our metabolism so we don't get fat - or plain sick from all this chocolate, but maybe you should stop feeding it to Kepi.*

*She seems to like it.*

*Yes, but she is starting to look a little ill, I think.*

Jolinar looked at the dog. She did indeed look less than well. *What have I done! I have harmed a poor defenseless creature - my sweet pet. Arnora, what can we do?*

*I believe she will recover on her own, but it may well take a day or more before she is fully well.*

*Poor Kepi! Let us take her outside, on the terrace, and get some fresh air ourselves as well. I grow weary of this party.*

*Agreed.*

Holding Kepi gently, Jolinar walked out on the terrace. It was a half-circle carved out of the mountain which her palace were situated on. A door from her throne room led out unto it. It was not a very large plateau, but a path was laid out to follow the edge, so as to make the most of the available space. A waist-high railing and a low hedge ran along the edge. In the middle of the terrace there was a beautiful marble fountain, ringed by flowering bushes.

Jolinar took a deep breath of the cool evening air. It smelled faintly sweet from the flowers and she immediately felt better. She walked down the short marble stairs and out onto the path, then began following it until she reached the point furthest from building. This was a nice, secluded spot, hidden from either entrance by the fountain. She liked to stand here and think.

Carefully, she put Kepi down on some soft grass behind one of the bushes, hoping the fresh air would do her good. She gently patted the puppy before she straightened and turned towards the rail. She walked up to the edge and looked out over the view. It was pretty, but also melancholic in some odd way. The planet's largest moon was almost full, and it provided enough light to see the valley stretch out below her. The moon light gave it a ghostly, silvery look. Jolinar could see the houses in the village surrounding the castle just below them. Most of the human slaves working at the palace lived there. A little further out were the nearest of the villages for 'general' human slaves, and behind that, in the distance, she saw several others, both human and Jaffa. There were almost no lights from the houses - everyone was asleep. They needed to get up early and work hard for their god...for _her_.

She sighed. *Arnora, so many people are dependent on me - their very lives are at risk whenever I and some other Goa'uld decide to fight each other for even _more_ luxuries. This incessant, petty squabbling...among most if not all the Goa'uld - and in the long run it leads to very few changes to the status quo. Say, today one Goa'uld has 10 planets, and another has 9...and then after _centuries_ of war - and tens of thousands of humans and Jaffa have died - then _maybe_ the first now has 9 systems and the other 10. What _difference_ does it truly make?*

*It does seem somewhat pointless if nothing else really happens - but have the other Goa'uld not realised this?*

*Some of them _must_ have...but even if they have realised such infighting leads to nothing, they still need to fight if they want to keep what they have. Because there are always other who are ready for war, and then even the more peaceful must fight. This yearning for power lies deep within all Goa'uld - I feel it too, if not as strong, now I have started thinking about it. I doubt very much it can be changed. Certainly not while we have Ra - 'Supreme System Lord' as he calls himself - and everyone strives to become important enough to matter in his circle. He, more than anyone else, is the epitome of the evil of the Goa'uld. As long as he is there, nothing will change. His forces and those of his allies will ensure it.*

*Why? What does he gain from others striving to be like him?*

*If we spend all our strength and use all our cunning warring amongst ourselves, then we will spend very little on development. We will not strive for another type of society. And we will experience very little technological development. It is already slow, because we are few, and only some of us are scientists. As we keep everyone else from learning, only Goa'uld scientists will exist. Anyway, we use all our strengths at fighting - none _dare_ suggest another way, lest Ra and his allies proclaim them traitors and 'free game' for everyone. None have challenged him yet, and I doubt anyone ever will. I fear this will keep our race - and as a consequence, that of the human and the Jaffa - close to stagnant forever. It is not to our advantage, but no one will admit it - at least not openly.*

Arnora and Jolinar were deep in discussion. They did not notice anything around them, including the footsteps on the path and the energy-signature of the Goa'uld approaching them.

"You talk to her, don't you? The others will kill you if they ever find out."

Jolinar jumped and turned quickly towards the man talking, bringing up her hand-device at the same time. It glowed, pulsated - activated and ready to use.

"Relax, Jolinar. If I were an ashrak or an enemy of any kind you would already be dead...you should really pay more attention - and be more careful as well."

Jolinar closed her eyes for a moment, sighing deeply and trying to relax. "Travik."

"At your service, my Lord." He smiled, then looked around quickly before he stepped up beside her.

"No one can hear us - we can talk freely."

"What would you like to discuss?"

Travik sighed. "You are young, but that will not protect you - talking to one's host is sacrilege...and you know it."

Jolinar hesitated, considered denying it. "Was it really that obvious?"

"Yes...to me at least. Either get better at hiding it or only talk together in private."

"How...how common is it? You have seen it before, I take it?"

"No, I have never before met another who did so, but I cannot say no one does. I do believe it is extremely rare."

"How then..._you_ talk to your host!" Jolinar realised, shocked.

Travik hesitated. "Yes..."

"How...why...?"

"How did I start talking to him?" Travik pondered this for a moment. "I had - from time to time - thought I noticed someone murmuring, but when I turned around to look there was never anyone there. My host has a trained and disciplined - and thus very strong - mind. He was able to affect me and my decisions from time to time, but I did not admit it to myself...never truly noticed it, until afterwards when I realised it had been so. Years passed, then one day I was fleeing in my Teltac, running from a dissatisfied customer - he claimed I had cheated him, the swindler! Anyway, he shot at me and my Teltac crashed on a backwards planet, leaving me badly wounded far away from Goa'uld healing devices or sarcophagi. For long I worked hard to heal and I grew very weak. I thought I was hallucinating, when in my half-awake state someone approached me and spoke to me - in my mind. It took several attempts from my host before I admitted it could only be him. Then I refused to acknowledge him, but in my weakened state I could not fully suppress him, nor ignore him. Also, I...needed the company, you know?" he flushed slightly. "However it may be, we ended up talking and over the years have continued to do so. We are actually good friends by now."

Jolinar nodded. "So, I am not the only one after all."

"No...but this happened over more than 20 years - very slowly. You have only had your host for less than two months, yet you have already started speaking to her."

"I...had no choice..." Jolinar blushed, "...but we are starting to become...good friends, I guess."

"You were far too young when you took a host and could not keep control. I understand." Travik nodded. "Consider yourself lucky. It is a rewarding friendship - someone you can actually _trust_, as rare as that is for a Goa'uld. Someone you _know_ likes you. I treasure it."

"Yet no one can ever know, despite how much better it would be if we all did likewise. If we all treated our hosts better. Like...like equals, I guess. If we were friends with them."

"It is heresy - and it would undermine the Goa'uld way of life. You cannot be a god, when your host - a human slave - is your equal. Worse, you cannot _ignore_ that what you do is wrong."

"No. The majority would be unable to truly convince themselves that they have the right to do what they do if they also admit that humans and Jaffa are sentient beings with feelings like us. If they cannot use superiority as an excuse. As you say, it would be the end our way of life. How could we even justify taking a host against his or her will? Especially when we know that the personality of the host _survives_! We would have to rely on humans _wanting_ to be hosts - an absurd idea, that anyone should want that. No, I realise this cannot be talked about."

*You know, there _might_ be those who would volunteer to be your hosts, if you truly wanted to share the body and live as friends. I believe the day will soon come when I will no longer wish I was not a host - perhaps it is already here.* Arnora commented.

Jolinar hugged her host warmly then concentrated on Travik again.

"Good. I am glad you agree. We will not speak of it again." Travik said.

Jolinar nodded.

Suddenly, Jolinar feared someone else might hear them, and hurriedly turned to look.

"You need not worry about your other guests. As you know, I delivered both the alcohol and the opium for tonight's party. There are plenty of both, and of good quality - very strong. They are having a good time and are quite happy to stay where they are - actually, you will probably need to have their lo'tar's help them get back to their rooms, ships, or the chaapa'ai." He grinned a little. "I am quite certain I am the only one at this party able to _service_ you_, _if you should have any such needs..."

Jolinar rolled her eyes. Before she could find anything sarcastic to answer, they heard a pitiful moan.

"Kepi!" Jolinar hurried to her dog, whom she had momentarily forgot. It looked up at her with sad eyes - it was clearly still not feeling well.

Travik observed it for a moment. "What did you feed it?"

"I...gave her some of my chocolate...um...a good deal of it, actually..."

"That was a bad idea. Some dogs do not tolerate chocolate well - especially in large quantities." He rummaged around in a small bag he had in his belt, then withdrew a miniature bottle containing some potion. It seemed to be only partially full. He went over to the dog, hesitating for a moment before he touched it. This time it made no move to attack him, but merely watched him. With one hand he opened its mouth and with the other he quickly emptied the flask's content in the puppy's mouth. He then hurried away.

"Next time, eat the chocolate yourself." Travik said, looking at Jolinar.

"What did you give her?"

"A mixture used to alleviate the effects of eating too much. It is quite effective. Fast too."

"Why do you even carry such a thing? Who would need it? Any Goa'uld can fix that easily and it is a rare human who would need it, poor and starving as most of them are...and I doubt you trade with them anyway..."

Travik seemed to hesitate. "I am a trader and I actually have a market for it, or I would not have it on me. I always bring some for big parties. While a Goa'uld would normally cure something like that in seconds, everyone has a limit. Especially when they are so drunk - and probably confused from the drugs as well - that they can barely walk! And at the same time they will usually have eaten far too much...yes, there is indeed a market for this potion...a very _secret_ market."

"I can well imagine! How embarrassing that would be! To need help curing something as simple as a stomach problem." Jolinar looked shocked for a moment, then she started laughing. "And they must pay you well - so you will never tell anyone!"

Meanwhile, the dog had begun moving around a little. Travik went back to check on it, carefully putting a hand out to feel it's nose. Kepi immediately sank her fangs into his hand and shook it slightly, growling.

Travik gave a yelp of pain and snatched his hand back. Grimacing, he looked at the hand, blood seeping from small puncture marks. The wounds closed quickly. "The wretched creature seems to be much improved." He observed.

Jolinar smiled, then looked to Kepi. "Bad dog! He merely wanted to help you!" She turned to Travik, clearly relieved her pet was better. "Thank you so much!"

"Glad I could help...guess it was too much to hope for gratitude from that beast!"

"She has a good memory - you insulted her the first time you saw her!" Jolinar smiled broadly. "But _we_ are _very_ grateful..." She went over to Travik and gave him a hug, then a quick kiss before she stepped back again, a slight blush visible on her cheeks before she got that under control.

Travik smiled, then gave a short bow. "It pleases me that I could assist you, my Lord." He grinned.

Jolinar swatted lightly at him with her scarf. She really liked him. "Perhaps we should rejoin the others - it is a bit chilly out here."

-  
Inside, the party was almost over, and people soon began to leave. Jolinar reflected that even if she had not really wanted to have this party, some good had come of it. She had learned she was not the only one talking to her host and she was becoming good friends with Travik. Yes, this had been a good day after all.


	7. Ra's world

A.N. I am currently moving. Since I don't know how long it will take to get internet etc. ordered/installed/working the new place, it may take longer than usual before I post the next chapter. We'll see :)

-  
Next day, Jolinar began preparing for a trip to visit Ra and make obeisance. As a System Lord, even one of the smaller, she had to do this within 3 months of rising to the position. Ra wanted to keep everyone in their place and not take any risks.

As a gift, she would bring several of those hunting falcons her planet was so famous for. One had to please Ra.

*Ra is the Supreme System Lord, as I explain before. Several thousand years ago, he found the Tau'ri, and on that planet he found the humans. They were a much better host species for us than earlier ones, such as the Unas.* Jolinar explained.

*Why? And who are the Unas?*

*On the planet my species originated on, there was also a species of humanoids. Well, there probably still is, no one has been there for many, many millennia. This species is the Unas.* Jolinar showed her an image of one, from her genetic memory.

*They are _scary_!*

*Only different..._alien_. Anyway, my ancestors started taking them as hosts. While walking around on the surface of the planet they found the chaapa'ai. They did not know what it was, but they were curious of it. A few started to try and figure it out. Eventually they did - though it took a very long time. They were persistent - and there was probably not much else to do! Those first ones travelled to another world. From there, eventually, on to another. Only very few left at first, and their expansion was slow. It also took a long time for them to figure out new addresses. Another problem was that the Unas are not optimal hosts for us - by a long shot. Only a small percentage of symbiotes are able to survive taking them as hosts. The majority of those even find it also difficult to survive long in them. Many of the Unas will die as well. The Unas are genetically much more different from us than humans are. That could be helped by getting DNA from them and incorporating it with the DNA of the new symbiotes, who would then be able to take the Unas as hosts. However, the process of acquiring it is difficult and unpleasant for the queens, because of how Unas procreate. To sum it up...our physiologies are simply badly matched. As a result, the 'civilized', star-faring Goa'uld were dying out. Then, about 8000 years ago, Ra came upon a planet with a primitive, humanoid species - the humans...you. You are a _perfect_ match for us. Your bodies are very easy to repair, and with DNA acquired from _this_ host species, the queens spawn symbiotes who always succeeds in taking a host. Getting the DNA is even easy and pleasant. You are also so much easier - and more pleasant - to live in...and so on. Your nervous systems and mind work as ours...*

*Yes, I get the point. In short - we are a dream house...I get it...*

*You _are_ a perfect host-species, yes...and we should be grateful for it, not treating you like we do.* Jolinar pondered for a moment. *It was an immense advantage for Ra - he and his queens had great success. Their offspring took hosts and lived - and he gained more allies by making these good hosts available to everyone - and then selling some of the many humans as slaves, as well. While you are not as strong as the Unas, you are quite resilient, quick learners, agile...there are many advantages, not the least of which is that you breed well. Slowly, Ra schemed and maneuvered - and occasionally fought battles when he knew he could win. He is very intelligent - and ruthless. Now he is Supreme System Lord. The one everyone has to listen to - and who decides how everything is done, how Goa'uld society...our very way of life, is.*

*And now we are going to meet him...I'm not so sure I like that, but I suppose we have to. At least we will not have to stay long at his court, will we?*

*We do not. From what I have heard, that is also not something anyone wishes. Note, however, that it may take some time before we are allowed the audience, as he likes to make people wait. It makes them feel unimportant. He generally does not treat people well, not even his own family...and he suspects everyone. I feel sorry for his queen, especially the lower ones. Hathor, his first queen - and daughter - does not like her competitors.*

-  
Somewhat anxious, Arnora/Jolinar began their journey to meet Ra. The gate-addresses to most of his worlds were not common knowledge. This was no doubt a security measure, as Ra was known to be somewhat paranoid. Probably with good reason. Thus they had to travel in the way prescribed. First by their own ship to a predetermined planet. From there they were taken by gate to a secret world, and finally the last piece of the journey were done on board one of Ra's ships. For all they know, the planet could in reality be relatively close to the point of departure.

Finally, they arrived on the planet Ra was currently making his home on. He was very fond of this world and had spent the majority of his time on it since the Great Outrage - when human slaves had made an uprising on Earth and he had left.

Jolinar arrived with her servants following, bringing the gifts she had for Ra, as well as her relatively large luggage. As they were led up the broad road lined with tall trees, Jolinar studied her surroundings. To her left, she could see the outer parts of the famous palace gardens. They were large - covering almost 5000 acres. They were filled with exotic trees and plants, and a large number of smaller animals as well. She had heard much about their beauty, and hoped to get the opportunity to see them, and perhaps wander in them for a while.

Soon they got to the palace. It had been partly hidden behind the many large trees, but it was huge. Jolinar knew it had more than 1500 rooms. The outer facade were built partly from granite, and partly from marble and obsidian. The interior was constructed almost exclusively from semi-precious stones - onyx, obsidian, turquoise, malachite, jasper...much of it decorated with intricate gold designs.

The servants were admitted through a side door, while Jolinar was taken through the front gate and into a luxurious room where she was told to wait. She sat down on a soft, red velvet chair and looked around. The floors seemed to be made from jade, and the walls were covered with pictures and brocade tapestries. The illustrations were of historic battles and scenic views of the Tau'ri. Everything was heavily inlaid with gold. Looking up, she noticed that high over her head there was a domed illustration in obsidian and gold. It showed the sky with planets, stars, and other celestial bodies. Here and there stood small tables made from rosewood. On them were classic alabaster vases as well as beautifully painted porcelain figurines, no doubt imported from Lord Yu's domain.

*A bit much, don't you think?* Arnora commented dryly.

*I agree - it is tasteless. But Goa'uld art is not exactly known for its subtlety, and Ra would have to go to extremes for it to be noticed. Besides, this will likely quickly be popular among those who follow the modern styles - just as the fashion at the court is always copied.*

*Yes, I've noticed your fascination...*

Jolinar blushed shortly before she got the reaction under control *If I am ever to be one of the major System Lords, I will have to behave - and _dress_ the part.*

*And that is the only reason, of course..._wait_...you want to be a _major_ System Lord?*

*Yes. Did we not agree that the current way of the Goa'uld is wrong?*

*We did, but I thought you meant nothing could be done about it.*

*Hmmm. Perhaps I did. I have changed my mind, though. I believe _I_ can change it, if I am but powerful enough...*

Arnora mentally rolled her eyes. *Oh, so now you wish to be Supreme System Lord? Good luck with that!*

*Quiet! Someone is coming. I need to concentrate on behaving correctly. For now, at least, Ra need to believe I am trustworthy...*

A small group of people came into the room, following a lo'tar. He went over to Jolinar, stopping at a respectful distance and bowing.

"Ra is unfortunately busy and will be so for the rest of the day. Regrettably, you shall have to return tomorrow, when he may be able to find time in his busy schedule. Also, there will be a celebration tomorrow, in honor of Ra's newest queen's first batch of larvae. You are invited to attend, of course."

"I quite understand. I shall return tomorrow, and I will of course attend the celebration. It is a great honor, which I am thankful for."

*Wonderful...now we have to stay another day - and we even have to attend a dreary party. Jolinar, can't we just say we need to be somewhere else?*

*That would be a grave insult! We cannot reject his invitation.*

A servant led them to one of the luxurious guest rooms. It was richly decorated and had expensive, comfortably looking furniture. When the slave had left, they sat for a moment looking at their surroundings. On the nearest table was a large platter with various fruits, as well as a pitcher containing some sort of sparkling fruit wine.

*At least the place looks nice...* Arnora commented. *The bed looks very appealing - maybe we should take a nap after eating some of the fruit?*

*Ra is knows for his luxurious palaces. It is not because he really has any great wish to treat us nicely, though, he merely wishes to make sure all his underlings are suitably impressed and appeased.* She sighed. *But for now there is little to do except relax and wait. I agree, we should enjoy ourselves.*

*I just thought of something...is the food and drink safe to consume, or could it be poisoned?*

*I doubt very much anyone would _dare_ disgrace Ra by assassinating someone in his palace. It would be a grave insult indeed, and would instantly make the guilty part hunted by all Goa'uld. No one would dare do that - and Ra himself has no reason to. It would also be an insult to even _suggest_ something like that. We either risk it and eat the food - and I think it a negligible risk - or we wait for our own slaves to arrive here with my clothing and other things. Besides, Ra has a sarcophagus, so you need not worry.*

*You know well I don't like you using your slaves as food tasters.*

*We have no sarcophagus yet - nor does that truly guard against all poisons. It is regrettable that I have to use the slaves sometimes, but I have enemies. Until that changes...besides, I only very rarely _use_ food tasters.*

*Partly because doing so openly could cause doubt about your status as a god - yes, I know.*

*You know well that I don't have any illusions that I am a god - but my people _have_ to believe, or...*

They were interrupted by a knock on the door, which Jolinar quickly answered, happy not to have to continue this discussion.

"Enter."

A group of slaves came in, led by her lo'tar. "My Lord, we bring you your luggage - as well as the honourable Kepi."

"Give me Kepi and place the luggage beside my bed, then leave me."

*You have decided to _not_ have someone else taste the food first?*

*Yes - I must have a reckless nature...*


	8. A meeting

-  
Later that day. Jolinar and Arnora had eaten a little of the fruit and then spent some hours sleeping. Kepi was snuggling at their feet. Afterwards, they had sent for a light meal and changed into something comfortable. It was actually quite pleasant to do nothing, though they were both looking forward to going home to their own, smaller palace.

Jolinar and Arnora decided to take a relaxing walk in Ra's famous garden. To enjoy its beauty and see the place they had heard about for themselves. Kepi also needed to be walked, so they brought her.

It was indeed beautiful. Soft grass and exotic trees shadowing small creeks and ponds. The gardens were criss-crossed by many small gravel-paths, which led to both scenic views and more quiet secluded spots. They had walked for a while and were now far enough into the garden that none of the sounds from the outside were heard. The occasional bird, as well as some insects was heard from time to time. The water in a small stream nearby purled as it ran over the pebbles. Now and then a rabbit or a few deers showed themselves. Jolinar and Arnora felt very peaceful - neither had ever been in a place like this and they were enjoying it immensely. They walked slowly along the winding path.

*It is stunning!* Arnora remarked. *Truly...I have never seen such a place. Flowers in all colours, many of them smelling sweetly.*

*Yes, the stories about this garden are clearly true. Ra has indeed created a wonderful place.*

*Oh...and look at all the fruit trees! I am suddenly feeling hungry...*

*I doubt Ra would appreciate us stealing his fruit.*

*He'd never notice. Those apples over there look delicious. Couldn't we just try one? Please?*

Jolinar hesitated, feeling unsure. She then took a quick look around, No one seemed to be around. *Fine...but you get the blame if Ra finds out...*

*Yes, because the other Goa'uld would really be impressed by the excuse 'my host made me do it'...*

Jolinar was reaching for a nice looking apple when someone spoke from behind.

"I would not do that - Ra does not like to share."

Just then sensing a symbiote, they quickly whirled around. They saw an elegantly dressed, beautiful woman coming towards them. Kepi whimpered pitifully and hid behind her master.

"W..._I_ was merely studying the tree and the exquisitely looking fruit. I would never _dream_ of stealing anything from Ra." Jolinar blushed furiously and cursed her own foolishness.

The woman smiled kindly. "Fear not - I saw nothing else. I merely felt it prudent to warn you. I know not what he would do to a Goa'uld being caught consuming Ra's favourite fruits, but the starving human slaves - who from time to time grow desperate enough to venture here for food - are banished for life to an unpleasant mining planet." Having come closer, the woman was now joined by a powerfully looking black panther. It said nothing, merely walked noiselessly to its master's feet and sat down there when she stopped in front of Jolinar. It eyed Kepi shortly, then ignored the small dog, safe in its knowledge of superiority.

*So _that_ was the reason Kepi whimpered and hid behind us earlier! A panther!*

"Forgive me," the woman said, "where are my manners? My name is Egeria, youngest wife of Ra." She sounded a bit scornful of that title.

"My queen Egeria, I am Jolinar of Malkshur." Jolinar bowed deeply. "Forgive my behaviour - I did not recognize you."

"How could you? We have never met." She smiled. "Please, let us be informal, Jolinar. I do not feel a need for anyone humbling themselves in front of me. We are the only ones present."

Jolinar straightened. "Your Lord Ra has indeed create a park of rare beauty - I have never seen anything like it."

"It is one of my dearest pastimes to walk here. So quiet and undisturbed, far from...anyway, do you know that Ra himself only rarely comes here? He prefer to enjoy it from a distance, he says."

Jolinar nodded. "He must be very busy. Tomorrow is a rare treat then. Celebrating his first clutch with his newest queen...with you. Congratulations, by the way. I hope they are well?"

"Very well. Soon they will be implanted in their Jaffa." Egeria smiled, thinking of her young. "It is for the best of everyone, but I sometimes find myself wishing they could grow up in a lake, like our ancestors did ages ago. Then I would be able to see them on occasion."

Jolinar shuddered involuntarily, thinking of the loneliness in the pouch. How she had missed someone to talk to, especially when the memories - and the nightmares - came. She had actually been lucky, she reflected. The worst of the genetic memories begun surfacing shortly after the symbiote was 7 years old - and she had had to take a host not so long after - when she was 8. She had the nightmares still, but they were fading much faster than they otherwise would have. Her many other experiences gave her memories of her own. Having a host to talk to also helped - but it meant they both suffered to some degree. How much worse it would have been to be alone in a pouch for another 4 years! She felt she would have been barely sane. Probably believing everything she had seen and re-seen, again and again, in her memories. She did not understand how others survived without being damaged for life. Perhaps they did not, she thought idly - such memories might well have caused her do evil things. She again shuddered, then turned her focus outward and towards Egeria again.

"It is hard on the little ones, but it serves a higher purpose. Where would we be if the Jaffa were not to be trusted?"

"Where indeed..." Egeria for a short moment had a strange look on her face, then quickly hid it. "The evening is still young and dinner will not be served for another couple of hours. The weather is warm and pleasant - walk with me?"

"With pleasure." Jolinar smiled and picked up Kepi.

"You need not worry about your puppy. My pet here - Achilles - will not harm her unless he considers her a threat - and that is hardly the case. He is very well-behaved."

"He is very elegant."

"Thank you. He was actually captured on the Tau'ri and given to me when he was but a small kitten...he is not quite fully grown yet."

"On the Tau'ri! A rare prize indeed!" Jolinar studied the panther. Not fully grown yet? The thing was already huge! Jolinar put Kepi down again, eyeing the panther.

Achilles walked over to Jolinar and looked intently at Kepi. The dog looked terrified, but valiantly stayed - or perhaps she was merely frozen in fear. Achilles then licked Kepi across the face and made a low rumble. He then turned around and walked back to Egeria. Kepi looked like she was about to faint.

Jolinar and Egeria wandered around for almost two hours and talked, before they returned to the palace. Egeria went to eat with Ra's household, while Jolinar ate alone in her room.

-  
Next day. Shortly after breakfast, a slave arrived to inform Jolinar that Ra would not be available to meet her that day either - because he was busy due to the celebration in the evening. Jolinar knew well that it was just an excuse, of course.

They spent the day relaxing and walking in the gardens - again meeting Egeria, who seemed to be spending much time there. Arnora suggested it was to be as far away from Ra as possible, and Jolinar was inclined to agree with her.

Then came the evening, and the large party. It began with a lavish dinner. Many Goa'uld had been invited and the place was full of people grovelling for Ra. Most behaved only minimally friendly and very arrogantly towards each other. Almost all treated Jolinar less than courteously, as she was a young Goa'uld with a small territory and she had not yet made a name for herself. However, it did turn out that some of them had heard about her winning a 'minor skirmish' against some of Zipacna's forces. This spoke in her favour, as Zipacna was getting very friendly with Apophis. He was one of the few acknowledged enemies of Ra, despite them currently having an uneasy peace.

Jolinar walked around a little. She talked to a few of the others, but mostly she kept to herself. She did not really know anyone there except Egeria, and as she was officially the guest of honour, she had no opportunity to talk to Jolinar.

Quite late in the evening, Ra's first queen, Hathor arrived. Jolinar knew she did that on purpose, to insult Egeria whom she clearly hated. She was known to be jealous of all Ra's other queens, but Egeria was the newest arrival and had the fewest supporters yet. Besides, Ra seemed to be somewhat infatuated by his new queen - something that likely infuriated Hathor even more.

-  
The week passed. Every day, Ra found a new variation on his excuse for not being able to meet with Jolinar. She was starting to become seriously annoyed, but knew well it was common. This was especially done for a first meeting, in order to humble the guest.

Over the week they spent a lot of time with Egeria and quickly became good friends with her. Jolinar learned that she too had had to take a host too early. Like Jolinar, but for slightly different reasons. Egeria's father had fought with Ra over a planet and needed a huge gift as a peace offering. He sent his daughter - a queen. She was only 10 1/2 years old, but he put her in a host anyway and sent her to Ra, who happily accepted the offer. That was over a year ago, and now, almost mature, she had given birth to her first clutch.

It was now the evening of their sixth day at Ra's court. The day had passed much as the other five, and Arnora and Jolinar were now getting ready to go to bed.

*Jolinar?* Arnora wondered. Her symbiote had been brooding over something for a while.

*I am thinking...about Egeria...wondering if she, too talks to her host. Though she was closer to maturity than I when she took her host, her experiences nonetheless must resemble mine. She would have had an easier time controlling her host - especially being a queen. Still, over time, she may have ended up accepting that her host was a real person and begun communicating with her. She might have gone through the same philosophical doubts I have - or perhaps she is going through them now.*

*Perhaps, but not every Goa'uld who takes a host a bit early will end up like you and me.*

*Of course not, but there is also the fact that she behaves somewhat unusual for a Goa'uld. She is kinder. Remember, she chose to warn us instead of telling Ra that we had coveted some of his apples. This side of her personality only comes out when we talk in person. When others are around she hides it and act as arrogantly as other Goa'uld - but so do I. We have to. And I do suspect it is an act from her side as well - perhaps even more so than it is for me. I cannot deny that I still feel much of the arrogance and superiority and I have to fight it often. She seems to have gotten past that, as if she truly is a kind person. I don't know - others probably will not have noticed anything.*

*I think you are correct. Another thing...she does not seem to like Ra - at all. She spends as much time away from him as possible.*

They continued discussing their theories for a little while, but agreed that they could not approach Egeria about any of this. At least not until they knew her much better.

Next day, Ra was finally able to meet with Jolinar. He had claimed to be unable to do so because of this or that, for almost a whole week. She was now informed that he had graciously found the time to meet with her. Again Jolinar assured herself and Arnora that this was normal - another way of making sure people were put in their places. Jolinar still had to control her temper at having been treated like this, though.

"My Lord Jolinar. Our much beloved and respected, Supreme System Lord Ra, can now spare a few minutes to receive your humble gifts."

Jolinar felt her blood begin to boil at this insult, but squashed the urge to say something. She rose and followed the lo'tar to Ra's throne room, on the way there meeting up with those of her slaves that carried her gifts. They had not been allowed to wait inside together with her.

The audience went well, and Ra graciously accepted her gifts, her groveling, and her wows of obedience and loyalty. Bowing deeply one more time, she was allowed to leave the room.

*And now we can go home?* Arnora asked, relieved and hopeful.

*Yes, now - finally - we can go home.*

They made their goodbyes to Egeria and invited her to visit, should she ever come to Jolinar's part of the galaxy.


	9. Decisions

-  
Back home, Jolinar started planning how to carry out her goal to become vastly more powerful. She had decided it was the only way for her to change the way of the Goa'uld. She had to become strong enough to force through her opinion. The strongest of the opponents bordering her empire was Zipacna, but he was still much too powerful for her to take on. Her other neighbors were 4 minor Goa'uld. Of those, 2 were friendly. They had been her fathers allies for almost 1000 years, and they had sworn the same loyalty to her. Of the other two, one was directly hostile, but to weak to do anything, and the other was neutral.

Jolinar waited for the right moment to attack her hostile neighbor. That moment came when his Jaffa raided one of her ships passing through part of his territory. Normally this would not have been cause for war, but it could be construed as cause enough and Jolinar jumped at the opportunity. She attacked him in a surprise move and was victorious. It did not take long before he surrendered to her and became her vassal.

After some skirmishes with the formerly neutral neighbor, he too became her vassal. Jolinar now ruled over 8 major planets and 4 mining colonies. Her army of Jaffa had swelled to almost 10000 man strong. She used some of the many extra resources to construct more ships and soon she had 5 Ha'tak at her command.

After some negotiations, her two friendly neighbors 'agreed' to become her vassals as well. Jolinar was now a full System Lord to be reckoned with. She got invited to Ra's parties where she was popular, because she had continued her animosity towards Zipacna, who was now Apophis's ally. While she did not enjoy attending Ra's parties anymore than she had enjoyed visiting him the very first time, she agreed to do it. Partly because she had to, in order to keep up appearances, and partly because it gave her an excuse to meet with her now close friend Egeria.

-  
Almost 50 years had passed. Jolinar had become very powerful, so powerful that not even Zipacna would be able to conquer her forces without assistance. She and Egeria had continued their friendship. After a few years they had admitted to each other that they both talked to their hosts. They also soon learned that they shared many of the same opinions regarding what they found to be wrong in Goa'uld society. They only rarely spoke of this, of course, as it was heresy. It would have been extremely dangerous, if anyone should hear them.

Then, one day, Egeria suddenly approached Jolinar. She showed up to visit her without having announced it beforehand. Recently, Egeria's father had been murdered, and she had inherited his empire. She was now - nominally at least - a very minor System Lord. Of course, in reality, Ra was the actual owner of the empire. However, as long as Egeria did not attack Ra, 'her' forces would obey her without question. Egeria had spent much time thinking, and had decided that something must be done actively about the Goa'uld way of life. A few years ago she had begun to imprint her spawn with her ideals. The first would mature within 10 years. Egeria needed allies as well as hosts to safeguard their immediate future.

"Jolinar, I have come to speak with you on a matter of grave importance and utmost secrecy." Egeria said.

"That sounds..._interesting_..." Jolinar quickly looked around the room. It was empty except for a guard at the far end. "Perhaps we should go outside for some fresh air?"

"A wise choice."

They went out into the half-circle garden cut out on the mountain-plateau outside the throne room. There they walked in quiet until they came to the point that was most distant from the door and hidden behind the fountain. This was a very secure place. There was a vertical drop of about 150 feet in front of them, and no one could hear them.

"We are safe from prying ears here." Jolinar said, turning to Egeria. She was quiet for a while before she said anything, seeming to collect her thoughts or perhaps she was conferring with her host. She took a deep breath and started.

"Over the years we have discussed the development of Goa'uld society and we have agreed that we are heading in the wrong direction. The Humans and the Jaffa are treated as animals, but they are sentient beings and the very foundation for our society. We depend upon them for our very lives as Goa'uld. Not only is our behaviour morally wrong, but I believe it will ultimately led to our downfall. True, we have nothing to fear from our slaves and warriors, and it is unlikely that they will ever become a threat, but we are facing far more serious  
problems." At this point, Egeria turned and looked directly at Jolinar. "You see, our time is consumed with territorial disputes, which are of no real consequence. Yes, today you may win a battle or even a small war, but in the long run nothing really changes. Worse still is the fact that there is no real technological advancement. Our scientists are simply too few, there is very little cooperation and with almost unlimited access to slave labour there is no real incentive to improve upon construction or mining technology. In short, our society is stagnating. This is a dangerous situation, which I cannot accept. In addition, we know almost nothing about the territories outside of Goa'uld space and no Goa'uld has ever left the Galaxy. If we do not evolve and explore, we risk attack and conquest from outside our realm. It is my belief that our only chance lies with the humans and the Jaffa. We must educate them to a level where they can make real contributions, and we must treat them equally. Only together do we have a chance. It is both the right choice, the wise choice, and in fact the only choice."

Jolinar had listened quietly, nodding from time to time. "You know I agree with you on this - or else, I suppose, you would not have approached me...but what can we do more than what we already do? We can treat our own hosts as equals. We can try to surreptitiously help a few and lessen the misery for those under our protection..."

"We can - and _must_ - do more. We must be more active!"

"I am trying be just that! If I could become powerful enough, they would have to listen to me. I could _make_ them listen to me..."

"Jolinar, dear Jolinar..." Egeria shook her head sadly. "I know well what you are trying to do, but hear me out. Even if you _do_ become very powerful - and you already _are_ one of the strongest of the System Lords - what would happen then? When you try to change how we Goa'uld do things? When you suggest we should treat human slaves better...as _equals_? When you say they _are_ equals? That we are not superior and that it is wrong to take an unwilling host - because it _is_ wrong to do that. What gives us the right? But they will not see that...they will not _want_ to see that. It would destroy their illusion, if they can no longer believe humans are inferior. If they can no longer convince themselves that what they do is not so bad, because nothing of the host survives? Most would rather do _anything_ to not have to believe otherwise - to not have to change their way of life."

"I would be undermining everything they believed in, everything that gave them the right to be the way they are and to live the life they do..."

"Yes. It would likely be one of the few things important enough to make them band together and kill you. So you see, Jolinar, that unless you are the strongest of all - stronger than _all_ others together. Stronger even than Ra is now...you cannot succeed this way. Besides, it is next to impossible to _force_ people into believing differently and to behave differently. They must first _want_ to change."

"I cannot become stronger than Ra! How can you even suggest something like that!"

"I do not."

"Then what? Are you saying it is hopeless? That we should just give up and accept that our race is doomed and with it most of the rest of the galaxy? Then why did you want this stealthy meeting? Surely not just to tell me our dreams are impossible?"

"No. Because I _do_ believe they are possible, but not in the way we have thought in the past. This requires cooperation. We need allies. Otherwise our plans are doomed to fail."

"We have my forces - and yours, if they obey you and not Ra. You said yourself that we could get no one else."

"There is a friend of my family, Olagin. He has been my father's friend for more than a millennium. He has sworn loyalty to me - not Ra."

"I have met him once, I believe. Does he agree with our cause?"

"Some of it. He does not want to accept that human hosts are truly sentient, nor will he consider talking with his own. Do not even mention it to him! It took me long enough to convince him my question had been of a theoretical nature only. However, he _does_ agree that our society is moving in the wrong direction and that it will lead to our downfall unless something is changed. He says he believes the real downfall of our civilization started maybe 700-800 years ago. Before that, he claims, people were not as megalomaniacal, nor as completely focused on gaining power. Be that as it may. I know not what could have caused this change, if it is even real."

"So he might be an ally..."

"Yes, only he has but one planet and few Jaffa."

"And yet, you want the three of us to take on Ra?" Jolinar raised an eyebrow.

"Not in the way you think, but eventually, yes. You see, I have an idea that will soon give us many loyal allies - with your help."

"That sounds interesting. I am listening...I should tell you that Arnora is very sceptical and worries for your sanity..."

Egeria grinned. "I cannot say I blame her..." She sobered. "I need your help in locating humans who wish to be loyal to our cause - and who wish to serve it by becoming willing hosts to...to my children."

"Your children! How can you trust them to agree with us?" Jolinar suddenly realised what she must have done. "Egeria! You...you changed their _memories_, controlled their knowledge and their loyalties...is that enough?"

Egeria nodded. "Yes, as you know, queens can - among other things - control what knowledge, what memories her offspring are born with. Not only that. I have imprinted quite strongly that what we Goa'uld do are wrong...and I have made sure they will want to _do_ something about this injustice. They will want to fight it - and they will wish to share the body with the host. I also strongly emphasized that humans are equals and should be treated that way. I did many changes to the memories they will be born with. Do not worry. They will only want to take willing hosts and they will agree with our cause."

"Hopefully your changes and imprints will be stronger than the memories they will inherit from Ra's DNA - or could you filter that from the hosts DNA and only use the human parts?"

"I did not risk using DNA from Ra - have not since over two years ago. He is not the father - my lo'tar, Svenn, is."

Jolinar gasped at the audacity of what Egeria had done. "I really hope Ra does not find out - he would be furious!"

"He will never know."

"You really changed their memories? Imprinted your ideals on them? Take only willing hosts?"

"They cannot do otherwise, except in extreme emergencies."

Jolinar nodded. "They will have a hard life. It shall be interesting to see how they behave, when they have no wish to play gods or suppress humans. When they want to share the body with the host. They might be very different indeed - I hope they will at least be able to _act_ Goa'uld, or their lives will likely be short."

"Do not worry, they will. I have made sure of that. They do know what it is to be Goa'uld - they just have no wish to be that way. So...will you help us? I do not have the opportunity to look for hosts, as I have to stay under Ra's supervision most of the time."

Jolinar thought about it. "Yes...yes, I will help you. But what then? When they have matured and taken hosts, what will you..._we_ do?"

"If you are willing, then we will fight Ra - and all that he and his kind stand for. I will spawn many young who shall share our ideals. Together we will fight the System Lords - perhaps not in the traditional way of the Goa'uld, but we will infiltrate the ranks of our enemies and destroy them. We may need physical power as well, or this fight will take millennia. If you will truly join us, then be ready to help us with your forces, if..._when_, it becomes necessary."

Jolinar knew the dangers of what Egeria suggested. Knew it was treason - worse than that, it was _heresy_...but she also knew that there was but one answer she could give. "Yes, Egeria. I _will_ join your fight. You have convinced me of the necessity of it - and perhaps also of the possibility for a victory, even if it may be far away. I pledge my allegiance to you, Egeria."

"Thank you, Jolinar. What does Arnora say?"

Jolinar gave control to Arnora, who surprised looked to Egeria. "I...had not expected you would ask me as well. You know that I agree with you. I, too, pledge my allegiance to you, wise Egeria. Your cause is just."

Egeria smiled. "Thank you, Arnora. You are surprised to be asked? You should not be. If I do not myself believe in my ideals - and follow my ideals as much as is possible in my position - how could I ever hope to change the world and the mind of others? This organisation...this _resistance_ will be for both host and symbiote, equally. Together we will win! That is the only way. Outward we may often have to pretend we are Goa'uld, but alone together we will not be like them. We will be..._Tok'ra_ - those who are against Ra and all he, and those who share his ways, represent."

Arnora smiled. "I am honored to be part of the Tok'ra." She gave control back to Jolinar, who likewise expressed her happiness at being a member of Egeria's resistance.

"Jolinar, do you know of anyone we might trust? What about this Travik? You seem to spend some time with him."

Jolinar blushed a little. "We are...good friends, maybe more... He talks to his host - and I will contact him about this idea of yours, but I feel certain he will not wish to join. He enjoys the pleasures of a luxurious life too much to join something as dangerous as this. We _are_ after all talking treason - _heresy_, even...but I will approach him."

Egeria nodded. "Good. I shall talk to Olagin. We will meet again in one month."

They returned to the throne room and the rest of Egeria's visit was spent on normal pleasures with dinners and entertainment. They talked only of trivial matters.


	10. Treason

-  
About a week later, Travik arrived, bringing with him the sarcophagus Jolinar had long wanted to buy. She had not been able to quickly replace the one her father had owned, and then she had had other things on her mind. Sarcophagi were still quite expensive, despite it had been 800 years since their invention. It was an unfortunate fact of Goa'uld society, that new technology were not quickly distributed throughout the galaxy. However, she could have easily afforded one in the last couple of decades. It had just not seemed important - and besides, she enjoyed sleeping in her bed. Now, however, having joined Egeria's resistance, she could well imagine there was a risk she might have use for a sarcophagus. She would probably get more enemies soon, should they learn anything of their organisation before they were ready. Egeria owned a sarcophagus, inherited from her father, but as far as Jolinar knew she did not use it.

The first day of Travik's visit, Jolinar did not mention Egeria or her organisation. They had a pleasant dinner and spent some enjoyable time together. Then, just after the next day's evening meal, Jolinar asked him to go outside with her for 'some fresh air'. They went to her favourite, secluded place.

"I assume you have something you wish to discuss with me? Something secret and potentially dangerous?"

Jolinar sighed. "How did you know?"

"Your mind has been preoccupied with something since I arrived, despite your best attempts to hide it...and now we are outside, in a place where no one can hear us. It was pretty obvious."

Jolinar sighed again. "I suppose it was. I have never been good at hiding anything from you. Never mind. I will get straight to the point. I...I was approached by a friend of mine, who shares my ideas for the future of the Goa'uld and the galaxy. This friend agrees that humans should be treated as equals, not taken as unwilling hosts or suppressed. That if Goa'uld society continues on its current path, it will eventually destroy us all. We should do something about it, and..."

"Wait...Jolinar!" He sighed, interrupting her. "Please. You know I agree with you on much of that, but neither I - nor my host, have any wish to live our lives differently than what we do. I do not want to know what it is you are getting involved in. I am certain it is both dangerous and illegal - and if I don't know, I am not responsible for anything. You need not worry. I will not tell anyone - after all, I do not _know_ anything - and I wish to continue trading with you, as well as being your friend. But I have no wish to get involved in anything."

Jolinar nodded. This was what she had expected, but she had still hoped he _might_ have said yes. "I understand. We will never speak of it again."

-  
Some weeks later. Jolinar again met with Egeria. This time Olagin was there as well. He was a rather tall, heavy-set man with a relatively handsome face. His hair was dark and shoulder-length. He seemed to be in his mid-forties.

After many long discussions he agreed to cooperate with Jolinar and Egeria. He had little military might to contribute with, but could provide them with intelligence - something just as important. He had been friends with Egeria's father for over a 1000 years, but he was close to 7000 years old. He knew almost anyone who was of any importance. He had no real enemies and could go everywhere, visit anyone. He would be able to keep an eye on everything that happened and learn if someone suspected anything.

When he had left, Egeria and Jolinar continued their meeting. They needed to discuss the matter of finding willing hosts for Egeria's children.

"So he agreed. I almost thought he would not." Jolinar said.

"I was certain he would. He often complains of how the Goa'uld society are evolving. He wishes us to return to how things were many centuries ago."

"Do you believe he is correct? That the downfall has accelerated or only truly begun in the last centuries? Or is he perhaps merely dreaming of past times?"

"At first I thought the latter, but now I am no longer so sure. I have listened to his stories, and I have also done some secret research. He does seem to be on to something. The power-hunger and the megalomania - the total focus on oneself...while our species has always had power-hunger and arrogance, it does seem to have worsened. I do not know what could have caused it. Perhaps it is an inevitable result of the accumulated genetic memories from so many others before you. All who fought and yearned for power? Perhaps it is something else - or even a little of both. We will see if we can determine the cause, but for now we have more important things to focus on."

"True. I will talk to my internal security. They always look for dissent. I shall have them send to me those humans suspected of being involved in uprisings, those who help run-away slaves, or who do not obey their leaders. Then I can talk to them myself. If they are sincere and wish to fight the Goa'uld, I will talk to them about becoming hosts to symbiotes who share their wish to fight the oppressors. Symbiotes who will share control of the body with the host. If they are still interested I will send them someplace where they can wait until your children mature. Regrettably, I shall have to kill those who would not be trustworthy hosts, but that would have been their fate in any case, so nothing is lost."

"Yes...it would. I think I will ask Svenn to be in charge of receiving those selected. Do you have anywhere they can be hidden?"

Jolinar thought for a while.

*What about Cordesh?* Arnora suggested. *He can be trusted, can he not?*

*I believe he can - especially if we only tell him that we are training the humans for some special task. I have never been able to tell if he agree with our ideas or not. However, the unusual way he got a host means he owes me loyalty - and I also suspect he at least acknowledges that his host's personality still remains. One day I shall have to confront him and learn the truth.*

*The let us try that.*

"Arnora suggests we hide them on one of my mining planets, governed by a Goa'uld of the name Cordesh. I believe he can be trusted, at least in some limited manner." Jolinar said.

"Good. Then we will do that. Jolinar...I assume Travik did not wish to join our cause?"

"He did not...he did not even wish to hear about it. As he said - if he does not know anything, there is nothing for him to either hide or betray. I do not believe he would _ever_ betray us. He agrees with many of our ideas, but he and his host just want to enjoy their lives. They will still trade with us, though, which is useful."

"Yes, I have heard he can get anything for you - for a price."

"I believe that is true. I finally bought a sarcophagus from him - he delivered it 3 weeks ago."

"So you decided to buy one, and not just rent it from the guild?"

"Yes - in my position I felt it would be expected that I own one."

Egeria nodded. "Have you tried it yet? I have my father's as you know, but I have yet to use it. I simply haven't gotten around to it, but I think I will soon. Everyone seems to be using them nowadays - and they speak very highly of it. As you know, it enables you to keep the same host for...well, they think almost indefinitely. You feel stronger, better, more powerful - and you only have to sleep an hour or so per night, at most - in the sarcophagus, of course."

"Yes, I have heard the same. They seem to have finally spread to more than just the major System Lords - and perhaps a few more. Now it seems all of even the minor System Lords have them. I agree that the advantages sound good, but I actually enjoy sleeping. It is one of the few times were Arnora and I can truly relax...and we always spend a little time talking before we drift off to sleep. And dreaming can often be therapeutic - if I understand correctly, you do not dream when using a sarcophagus."

"No, you do not - and that worries me perhaps a little. Besides, I also agree with you regarding sleep - it is pleasant. But to only loose one hour a day to sleep sounds attractive - when we have so much to do. Olagin wants very much to try the sarcophagus. I told him he was welcome to use it as much as he wanted. He claimed it was only because he had heard so much good about it - and because he wanted to be able to work hard for our alliance for as many hours as possible. Perhaps...but I suspect the real reason is that he has gotten used to looking the way he does and do not wish to have to change his host before it is absolutely necessary. I believe he has had the current one for more than 350 years, and he was not a young man when he took him as host. Anyway, that is his concern. I do not care for his reasons - he is welcome to use it."

-  
The Goa'uld had guilds to take care of many things. Many of those Goa'uld who were not either System Lords themselves or their underlings worked there. Those guilds consisted, among others, of scientists, technicians, and repairmen. The System Lords and their few Goa'uld minions could not themselves do all the work that need to be done to the ships and other technology. On the other hand, they could not very well tell their Jaffa or their human slaves about how most of the technology worked, because 'knowledge of Goa'uld magic is forbidden'. This work was then done by Goa'uld employed by the various guilds.

One of those guilds were in charge of building and repairing sarcophagi. Since Goa'uld technology was made to last, there was very little repair needed. The guild would sell or rent sarcophagi to those who wanted one. If the Goa'uld chose to rent it, he or she would pay a small sum yearly for its use, and the guild would do a check up on it every year and repair it if it was needed. Since the sarcophagi rarely needed repair, and since the owner had an expected lifetime of 10000+ years, renting out a sarcophagi was a good affair indeed for the guild.

The guild knew, of course, that there were some side effects to the use of the sarcophagi. It caused addiction, power hunger - even madness. The addiction they only considered a good thing, since it kept them in business. As for the other effects, they did realise it might lead to the eventual downfall of the Goa'uld, but probably not for tens of thousands of years - and meanwhile the guild would be rich. It was amoral and egoistic, but not really unusual.

-  
Some days later, Jolinar returned to her empire. She instructed her intelligence service to keep an eye out for any dissidents. They were to bring them to her, in good condition so they would survive her interrogation of them. She blamed the initiative on suspicion of unrest among her slaves. Her forces accepted this without suspecting anything, as it was nothing out of the ordinary.

It did not take long before the first slaves were brought in. Jolinar talked to them herself, and managed to divide them in two groups. Those few who were criminals, and then the vast majority who had fought back only in desperation, when the injustice had become too great to bear. Those she talked to further, succeeding in sorting out the few who were truly willing to join a resistance against the Goa'uld - and were even willing to take the chance that what she told them was true. That there really were symbiotes who were different.

She knew she could not be certain if they were really volunteering to be hosts or if they merely desperately chose the chance to live. However, she comforted herself by the fact that _she_ knew the symbiotes they would be host to were Tok'ra. And while their lives would be hard and dangerous, they would be alive. In general, they would even be better off than the human slaves - they would be pretending to be Goa'uld much of the time when they had became hosts, and would thus live in relative luxury. She knew they would become friends with their symbiotes - as it should be. Soon they would not want it any differently. Still, she looked forward to a time when someone they trusted - someone who was _not_ a System Lord - could interview the potential hosts. That would make for less fear and more true volunteers. They would be in situations were they could say no and live - and they would know it was so.

-  
Their plans went well for a long time. Olagin reported all major happenings in the many Goa'uld domains, any alliances, and if anyone _might_ be open to an approach. Egeria spawned many more Tok'ra larvae, who were placed in the pouches of both hers and Jolinar's Jaffa. Jolinar continued raising forces and growing in power - occasionally taking over a planet. At the same time she always looked for potential hosts, something made necessay by the growing number of Tok'ra.

She managed to find quite many who would consider being hosts, as there was always dissent somewhere. Those she found to be willing, would often suggest others - when they had finally been convinced of her sincerity. A few highly trusted humans became a sort of 'recruiters', looking for others of a like mind. It was a very dangerous job. They would be tortured to death should they ever be caught - and there were some slaves that would report them, either in the hopes of gaining favours, or out of genuine fear of such heresy.

All together, Jolinar had to work very hard to find even half the hosts needed. This was despite the fact that she had started immediately, when there was 10 years before the first Tok'ra symbiotes would mature. Still, 50% of a clutch getting hosts was far, far above the number who would normally be allowed to take hosts. Since the Goa'uld did not like the competition they only allowed a few to be implanted. Egeria knew this very well, but she also wanted all her children to live. She did not think of them as future rivals - and indeed they would not be. They would be allies, and they were very different from how Goa'uld usually were. They would have a wish to cooperate and even sacrifice themselves so as not to risk their fellow Tok'ra.

-  
Then, about two years after Egeria had first come to Jolinar to speak about her plan, there was a large Goa'uld summit. All Goa'uld of consequence would meet - including, of course, Egeria and Jolinar. A relatively powerful Goa'uld of the name Geb would be hosting it. He had for a long time been the only one who had not accepted Ra as the Supreme System Lord - something even Apophis and Zipacna did, albeit grudgingly. They were still hostile, but knew they could not truly do anything against Ra.

Geb would now finally pledge his allegiance to Ra and swear to his acceptance of the other Goa'uld's supremacy. Everyone else was invited as well, partly to officially reaffirm their loyalty wows and their allegiance, and partly to witness Ra's victory. Finally he would truly and in every way be the Supreme System Lord.

Egeria would have to be at the summit a few days before Jolinar, because of some private arrangements which were being made for Ra, his family, and his closest allies.

Then, the day after Egeria had arrived at the summit - and before Jolinar were to leave for the event - Egeria, her lo'tar, as well as a large number of her Jaffa showed up at Jolinar's palace. Egeria immediately asked to speak with Jolinar and were quickly shown in. She seemed quite shaken and in a hurry, but also determined. Jolinar sent anyone that might listen out of the room, before she told her friend to explain what had happened.

"Egeria...welcome. I had not expected to see you here, now. I was preparing to go to the summit and thought we would meet there?"

Egeria sighed. "Jolinar...something has happened. I...I cannot tell you all the details, but my First Prime is dead - protecting me and...shall we say...important future allies - against Ra's Jaffa. Ra is extremely angry at me for the moment and I thought it prudent to leave before anything worse could happen."

Jolinar paled. "This is bad...very bad." She was quiet for a moment. "I will support you as much as I can. You and your Jaffa can stay here, of course. If Ra decides to come for you, it may be difficult, but I will try to protect you."

"Thank you, Jolinar." Egeria looked relieved.

-  
Some time passed. The relationship between Ra and Egeria remained tense, and she stayed with Jolinar. However, other matters occupied Ra's attention, and he did not make any openly hostile moves against his former queen and ally.

The newly formed Tok'ra organisation had its first crisis. The relationship between Egeria and Jolinar on one side, and Olagin on the other had grown more and more strained. Egeria and Jolinar had noticed him slowly change and begin to disagree with them on more and more points. A few months after Egeria's break with Ra it came to an open confrontation during a meeting.

"You will cause all of us to be killed by Ra!" Olagin snarled angrily. "You are insane not to keep in good standing with him!"

"Calm down. I am not at war with him, just not in his favour - nor do I wish to be. He will be the downfall of all Goa'uld, as long as they follow his mad power struggle."

"Mad power struggle? I do not blame him for wanting power, I only wish _I_ had more of it!"

"You? You have never wanted power before...and now you do?"

"Of course I want power! I am a Goa'uld! It is only natural that I want power!" He looked indignantly at Egeria. "To think I have wasted all this time with you and your failure of a father! Not to mention your ridiculous band of heretics! Well, no more! From now on I work only for myself!"

"What about the future of the Goa'uld - our culture and society?" Jolinar asked. "I thought you were worried about the future of our entire species, if we continued on the path led by Ra."

"Such nonsense. There is nothing wrong with how we live - the only thing wrong is that I am not a System Lord! And, so what if our life style should lead to the eventual fall of the Goa'uld? I doubt it will happen in my time!"

"Just like that? You don't care about anything or anyone but yourself? About the suffering it will cause in the galaxy for everyone else? For the Jaffa? The humans?"

"They are _slaves_! Their only function is to serve us - indeed, the Jaffa only _exists_ because of us. Why should I care what happens to beings who are not even truly intelligent? Who must struggle each day for a miserable existence? If anything I would say they are better off dead!"

Jolinar and Egeria looked at each other. Then Egeria again turned towards Olagin.

"I see...I assume this means our cooperation has ended?"

"_That_ it has - you should be eternally grateful that I do not inform Ra or any of the other _true_ Goa'uld about all your little disgusting - and heretic - ideas. You think I don't know. You talk to your hosts!" He made a face, turned and left without another word.

Egeria and Jolinar just stood there, shocked and stunned. An expression of sadness crossed Egeria's face before she quickly hid it.

"I wonder what has changed him like _that_. It's like he is a totally different man all of a sudden." Egeria said.

"It is not totally sudden - I have noticed small things during the last several months, but I did not know him well enough to be sure it was unusual for him."

"Now that you mention it...I have noticed it as well. I suppose I did not want to see it. I told myself that he was just stressed. I wonder what caused it?"

"You are quite certain he was never like this before? Yes, of course you are - and he _did_ agree with us that Goa'uld society is evolving in a wrong direction. Quite strongly in fact, even if he never shared our views about hosts."

"He is only 7000 years old, so it is not old age...perhaps he is sick?"

"How could he be sick? Goa'uld are never sick! Besides, has he not been using your sarcophagus regularly? It should cure anything."

"True. He has been using it - very frequently, in fact." Egeria said. "He used it very rarely at first, but he soon became very fond of it and he has used it more and more. To be honest, I think he has been using it every day recently. Well....I suppose now he shall have to find another place to satisfy his addiction. He is not using _my_ sarcophagus anymore!"

"Addiction..." Jolinar looked thoughtful. "Could it really be?"

"What?" Egeria looked questioningly at her friend and ally.

"The sarcophagus...Arnora thinks it causes some sort of addiction, and she may be right. We have used it from time to time, and I must admit that I have started to notice...unpleasant sensations, feelings, when too long passes between each use. What if it truly is a side effect of the sarcophagus? And what if it is not the only one? What if it, uh, messes with our minds as well as our bodies?"

"I...you may be right."

*She _is_ right...I have noticed what she says as well. When we started using it...first it felt good, we felt _powerful_...but I have started noticing changes in how we react to others, to everything around us. Not often, but sometimes.* Egeria's host Ariane, commented.

*Yes, you're right. I didn't see it at first, but when you pointed it out, I did. I remember now. Perhaps the sarcophagus _has_ effects not only on the body, but on the mind as well...*

Jolinar had been quiet while Egeria talked to her host. When Egeria looked up again, Jolinar nodded.

"I see you too have noticed..."

"Yes. It was Ariane who detected it first, actually. She is quite correct, and so are you. When she pointed it out I could see it was true. Not only do we feel withdrawal symptoms when we go longer than normal between using the sarcophagus...our behaviour has also begun to change. There has even been the rare times when _I_ thought the idea of the Tok'ra was foolish...when I felt a strong desire for power. And...and sometimes...I have felt that as...as a superior, I _deserved_ it. Ariane tells me she has felt it as well. When we first noticed, we pointed it out to each other and we were terrified. Then we reassured each other that it must be normal, since we _both_ felt so. Now I am no longer so sure."

"It is similar to mine and Arnora's experiences. If this is indeed due to the sarcophagus..."

"Then we _cannot_ risk using it, or we would surely become like the others! We would be lured in by the feeling of power and care less about the effects of our actions on others. We have managed to see past the madness and the evil of our genetic memories, but the sarcophagus may be an even stronger..._too_ strong - temptation."

*I believe it is - I feel its power, and it seems it would surely turn _me_ mad and power hungry. Make _me_ not care about others. And _I_ don't even _have_ genetic memory.* Arnora told Jolinar.

Jolinar nodded. "Agreed. We must help each other get through the withdrawal - and then we cannot use it again unless it is _absolutely_ necessary."

"No. We do not use the sarcophagus - ever again. _No matter what_. And I must tell my children this - and those yet to be born...I shall make sure this is part of the knowledge they are born with. This is how it _must_ be for all Tok'ra. Anything else is too dangerous. The lure of the thing is too powerful for us to risk it."

Jolinar again nodded. "You are correct, of course...Egeria, another thing...can we trust Olagin not to tell anyone?"

"I think so. If he was still the old Olagin, I would say yes, without hesitation. Now? I can only hope the core part of his character has not changed."

"We cannot risk that. We should have him detained before he gets away, if it is not too late already. I do not know why I did not think of it earlier..."

"He does not really know much...and he has been a friend of my family...of me. But you are right, of course. Perhaps...perhaps we can still reverse the damage done by the sarcophagus, if we get to him quickly."

"Agreed." Jolinar ran to the nearest guard post. "Jaffa, kree! Stop Olagin before he leaves through the chaapa'ai!"

The Jaffa paled visibly and fell to his knees. "I am sorry, my Lord. He has already left the planet." He bowed his head, certain of the severe punishment he could expect for this failure.

Jolinar felt a surge of anger, and was about to lift her ribbon device and use it on the guard.

*Incompetent fool! I shall teach him...*

*Jolinar! NO! This is _not_ who you are - this is because of the sarcophagus! Yes. I too feel anger, but we must recognize the source. It is not the fault of this poor Jaffa that he let a presumed ally leave without having been given further instructions. We can blame only ourselves for not thinking about this earlier.*

For a brief moment, Jolinar wanted to punish her insolent host, then she felt intense shame. She restrained herself with difficulty and took a deep breath. She felt the anger dissipate and her head clear.

*You are right, of course. Thank you.* She hugged her host quickly, then focused on the terrified guard. "Understood. Dismissed." She turned around and left the relieved Jaffa.

Now truly convinced of the dangers of the sarcophagus, Egeria and Jolinar went to one of Jolinar's most distant planets, which did not have a chaapa'ai. There they stayed until the withdrawal symptoms finally disappeared. Fortunately, they had not yet started using the sarcophagus very often, but the process of weaning themselves off it was still immensely unpleasant and painful. After almost a week had gone by, their bodies and minds were almost returned to normal - for both symbiotes and hosts. The chemical imbalances disappeared and they were again able to heal themselves normally, after that had been done by their sarcophagi for some time.

Meanwhile, Olagin - desperate for a sarcophagus - had found a new Lord to work for. In order to gain favours, he slowly told him all he knew about Jolinar and Egeria. All about their ideas and their cause. He fortunately knew little, but what he did know was more than enough to make Jolinar and Egeria bad company. His knowledge included the name 'Tok'ra' - against Ra - and their heretic ideas of acknowledging the survival of the host personality. Had they not been who they were - a powerful System Lord and one of Ra's former queen's, they would doubtlessly have been killed instantly. As it was, they were merely ostracized at first. However, this gave the other Goa'uld a casus belli against them. It did not take long before several tried to take advantage of Egeria's and Jolinar's alienation from the other Goa'uld. Soon they were fighting almost constantly.


	11. War

-  
Amongst all the bad news, there were also happy events. One of these were the ceremonies held each time new Tok'ra symbiotes matured and took their first - willing - hosts. The very first time this was to be done, Jolinar and Egeria went to the planet where Egeria's lo'tar, Svenn, had been receiving and training the future hosts. Together they brought all those of their Jaffa that carried mature symbiotes, as well as tanks with larvae ready for implantation in the soon available pouches. They had talked much about how this should be done, and decided on a procedure.

Jolinar sat over to the side of the room and watched. Several elevated stone slabs had been constructed and placed in the room. On each of these benches, one of the volunteers would lay down. As they walked in and did so, Jolinar noticed that they all seemed tense - some of them even very nervous. However, they all looked determined. Egeria wanted to be in charge of this herself the first time. She had removed the mature symbiotes from the Jaffa, then placed them each temporarily in a water-filled low sided tray. Each time she had taken out a symbiote, she would take a new prim'ta from one of the tanks, and place it in the Jaffa, stroking the small larvae lovingly first.

Egeria then took the trays one at a time and walked over to the volunteers, while helpers stayed with the others. The other symbiotes waited patiently. They were much calmer than any symbiotes Jolinar had ever seen before. Normally they would all have jumped at the human helpers and taken them as hosts.

Egeria let the symbiotes take a look at the potential host and if it approved, she placed the tray on the bench, just beside the person waiting there. That person would then turn slightly to the side and open the mouth, where after the symbiote would jump inside quickly. Jolinar looked on in surprise - she had never before seen symbiotes entering through the mouth. To do so would mean the symbiote would always remember the look of horror on the hosts face - Jolinar did not think she would be able to look herself in the mirror if she had entered thus.

*Why not, my dear friend? There are no look of horror or disgust - the hosts are willing.* Arnora pointed out.

Jolinar realised this was true. *Of course - that changes it. But why do it anyway?*

*To avoid that unsightly scar we have on our neck. I think I would have preferred that you entered through the mouth and have avoided the scar.*

Realising this would be true, Jolinar hugged her host, apologizing again. Her host hugged her back, assuring her that she no longer needed apologies from her friend. They watched in silence as each of the symbiotes chose a host. The new 'headmates' then spent some time seemingly unconscious. When asking, Egeria told them that they were blending - merging their thoughts, memories, feelings. They were doing immediately what had slowly happened over time for Jolinar and Arnora, as they had opened up more and more to each other. These pairs would know each other well - and be quite close friends - immediately. Jolinar felt a slight envy over this.

Afterwards, when all was successfully completed and all the symbiotes had hosts, there was a big celebration welcoming them to the Tok'ra. All had gone well, though they decided to change one thing next time - a better way must be found for host and symbiote to chose each other. All the blendings seemed to end up being good matches, but it would be good if there was a way to increase that possibility. They would think it over and find a way.

-  
A short time after this first batch of Tok'ra had taken hosts, Egeria formally declared war on Ra. He had already taken all her planets, except for three which were considered of no strategic value. Of course, the planets also did not contain much easily accessible naquadah or other minerals worth mining.

Egeria continued to spawn Tok'ra children, but she no longer had more than a handful of loyal Jaffa, so they were placed in the ranks of Jolinar's many Jaffa.

Jolinar, being Egeria's ally, decided to throw her considerable forces behind helping Egeria against Ra and all other Goa'uld who now saw their chance. Zipacna - despite being Ra's sometimes enemy, and at least always on unfriendly terms with him - ended up being a constant nuisance. Jolinar and Egeria knew he would need to be eliminated. With him gone or at least subjugated, they would be rid of a very dangerous opponent as well as gain large territories, many Jaffa, human slaves, and resources. It would give them the opportunity to build many ships.

Having made the decision, Jolinar collected her forces and declared war on Zipacna. Now, more than 70 years after she had started her reign, she was finally ready to eliminate the enemy she suspected of sending the ashrak that had killed her father.

The first battles went well. Jolinar made a surprise attack and quickly took control of the three closest of Zipacna's planets. They were the ones he had used as a base for the many border skirmishes between him and Jolinar over the years.

These planets were very rich in easily accessible naquadah deposits. They also housed many human slaves, and Jaffa. This gave Jolinar resources and some extra manpower, giving her the opportunity to quickly rebuild the parts of her fleet that had been damaged or destroyed. Most of Zipacna's Jaffa either fled or pledged their loyalty to their new Lord. She had, after all, proven she was a stronger, more powerful god. Those who would not change their allegiance were slaughtered. Now was not the time to show leniency, if Jolinar was to have a chance of succeeding.

After a few years, both Zipacna and Jolinar had rebuilt their armies. Jolinar now possessed better and larger resources. Thus she had been able to complete her repairs quicker than Zipacna and build more new ships. They were now close to being evenly matched and soon the two powers clashed again.

Jolinar had taken the main part of her fleet and sent to Nervona VI where Zipacna had a large shipyard. She hoped to destroy it while his forces were patrolling elsewhere. She had timed it so that at the same time her fleet arrived and attacked, she sent many of her Jaffa forces through the gate to attack the shipyard itself. Hopefully the battle in space would keep the attention away from the chaapa'ai long enough for her Jaffa to make it through safely.

Zipacna was taken by surprise, but unfortunately for Jolinar, his forces were by coincidence stationed in one of the neighboring systems.

Thus, while Jolinar's forces were bombing the shipyard from her ships, as well as attacking other parts of the settlement with her Jaffa, Zipacna's forces arrived in the solar system. By sheer luck Jolinar's people detected them before the enemy was fully upon their position. Because of this they avoided the trap Jolinar herself had set for Zipacna's ships in her first battle with his forces so long ago.

-  
"My Lord! We have detected a large number of ships entering the system. It is Zipacna's fleet!" Her first prime reported, having hurried to his Lord's room.

Jolinar got up quickly, pushing the plate aside. "Make sure all my ships know. Move immediately from orbit and turn so our main guns are trained on his ships. I shall be on the peltac momentarily.

The Jaffa bowed and left to carry out her orders.

Jolinar had been eating lunch in her room, discussing their future tactics with her host. Neither had expected Zipacna's fleet would arrive until after they had finished destroying the shipyard and all other military installations in the system.

Hurrying to the pel'tac, they tried to lay plans for how to best fight their enemy's fleet. Had he sent the entirety of his ships? Some of them? Or only a few? They arrived on the pel'tac, worried and prepared for the worst.

"Report." Jolinar demanded.

"We have moved out from orbit and into formation. We are hidden behind the closest moon. Zipacna's ships have just left hyperspace....scanning..." The Jaffa entered a few commands at the panel. "There are 8 Ha'tak and 10 Alkesh. They are releasing death gliders now."

Jolinar sighed deeply, moaning silently to herself and her host. Aside from Zipacna's own Ha'tak - and one Alkesh - this was all of Zipacna's forces. She, herself, owned 12 Ha'tak and 9 Alkesh. She had brought 9 Ha'tak and 7 Alkesh for this campaign, wanting to make sure she could do the job quickly and be prepared for any eventuality. The rest of her ships patrolled those parts of her domain which bordered untrustworthy neighbors. Her extra Ha'tak would even out his 3 more Alkesh, though. She decided they could do this.

"Order the death gliders to launch and assume alpha formation - hold that position until I give the order. Tell the Alkesh to split out into two groups and flank our Ha'tak - which we will fan out into a half circle. Then quickly go for his Ha'tak." She looked at the display. "He has his ships in a triangular formation. It protects them, but we should be able to surround him. He will not be able to fire at more than a few of our ships, if we force him to keep formation. We, on the other hand, can hit all of his. Focus the firepower on the lead Ha'tak - don't bother destroying it. Go for weapons and then engines. If it blows up it is just an extra bonus. Then continue on to the next."

The Jaffa relayed the order and Jolinar followed the results on the screen. She saw the Ha'tak blow up moments later, while her own ship had barely gotten its shields scratched. She sent the death gliders in to fight their counterparts, then surveyed the results of her Alkesh's maneuvers. They were doing well and were firing constantly at two of the Ha'tak. Her own main ships joined them and soon two more of Zipacna's ships were history.

As they started the attack on the fourth of the enemies Ha'tak, one of Jolinar's Alkesh blew up. This was soon followed by the shields failing on one of her Ha'tak. It was burning clearly.

"Tell that Ha'tak to break off and get to safety - if we can repair it that's worth more than what little they can yet do."

The battle was going well, when one of the Jaffa at a control panel suddenly turned to her. "My Lord. More ships are approaching. One Ha'tak and an Alkesh."

So Zipacna had called in the rest of his forces - this gave her an opportunity to end his reign once and for all. He had now lost 6 Ha'tak and 5 Alkesh, so even with the reinforcements he only had 3 Ha'tak and 6 Alkesh. Jolinar still had 7 Ha'tak and 6 Alkesh, all with most of their shields left.

The question was - why did he do this? There was no way he could win, and he must know that. Trickery, perhaps?

"Call for my other ships to join the battle. Tell them to hurry."

"Yes, my Lord. Immediately."

Jolinar's forces made quick work of Zipacna's forces. He was down to a single Ha'tak and no Alkesh, when Jolinar got an unpleasant surprise.

"More ships are approaching..."

"Ours?"

"No. Our ships report they will be here within the hour. The new fleet approaching are a large force - many Ha'tak and Alkesh, of unknown ownership."

Jolinar quickly overviewed what she had left. 9 Ha'tak and 8 Alkesh. An enormous force that could easily handle most other Goa'uld, except a very few. Like Ra, or perhaps Apophis...who was loosely allied with Zipacna...

"Enemy ships dropping out of hyperspace...10 Ha'tak and 7 Alkesh...it is Apophis's fleet."

Before Jolinar had time to do anything, he started firing at her ships who shot back. A lucky shot took out one of Apophis's Alkesh, but Jolinar knew she could not win this. Even with the rest of her fleet here, it would be a miracle if they destroyed his fleet. In either case she would loose her entire fleet, and she could not let that happen if she were to hold her empire. She turned to her first prime.

"Give the order to withdraw. Tell our reinforcements the same. We will meet at Servana."

"Yes, my Lord Jolinar!"

-  
Jolinar withdrew her fleet and ordered her Jaffa ground forces to return home as well. Most of the shipyard had already been destroyed, as well as almost the entire military settlement of the planet. It would be some time before Zipacna could build new ships there. He had other worlds for that, but they did not have as plentiful resources, so the building would be much slower. Jolinar herself would be able to rebuild relatively quickly, unless Apophis decided to pursue. It really was unfortunate he had decided to join the battle!

Unfortunately, this was just the beginning of her bad luck. Apophis sent his fleet to her border planets - those she had taken from Zipacna several years ago. He destroyed her facilities and fortifications there. When she arrived, the planets had been occupied by Apophis's Jaffa together with some of Zipacna's Jaffa.

Before Jolinar was able to recapture those worlds, other of her systems were attacked. First by Cronus, and then by Bastet. Relatively minor System Lords, but on the rise. Taking advantage of her status as an outcast no one would help.

Jolinar's empire did not fall quickly. Very slowly, over more than 20 years she lost all her planets except for the original one, Malkshur. That, too, was now under siege. She, Egeria - as well as a number of Tok'ra, were now all trapped on this world, unable to flee. The Tok'ra were those who had not been elsewhere and gone into hiding when Malkshur was besieged. Together with them were also those of Jolinar's Jaffa who was still alive. They were carrying Tok'ra. Many of the Jaffa had been killed, so a large number of Tok'ra had also died before being able to take a host. Also, many Tok'ra had fallen while in hosts, in direct clashes with the enemy Jaffa. There were many Tok'ra who had fought in groups alongside Jolinar's Jaffa.

Some of the young Tok'ra had silently taken positions at the courts of various System Lords, in the hope of gaining information this way. It was unpleasant for them to have to pretend to be Goa'uld, but they could do it. This way many were able to hide, but not Jolinar, of course. She was far too well known. She did not wish to abandon her host for another and live under a secret name for a while. So she was now trapped on Malkshur.

Egeria needed a safe place to spawn Tok'ra symbiotes - and Jaffa to incubate them. The last part was the real problem. Jolinar had only about 400 loyal Jaffa left, and of those only few needed new prim'tas. They could wait for the young Tok'ra to mature and then Egeria could spawn new - that would get them about 400 Tok'ra every 12 years. But only if they could find willing hosts for them. Lately it had not been quite as difficult as it had at first. There were now Tok'ra who had never been known as Goa'uld. They could work in anonymity among humans - pretending to _be_ human. But they only had Malkshur to recruit from and there were not that many volunteers on the planet. Of course - this was likely irrelevant, as the world would not be besieged for an indeterminate amount of time. Sooner rather than later it would fall to Apophis, and then they would all be killed. That could not be allowed to happen. They needed to get at least Egeria safely away from Malkshur.

"Egeria, I am so sorry. I have failed you - and the rest of the Tok'ra. My empire - and my Jaffa - are all but gone. Them too, I have failed. We are under siege. Even if by some miracle we should get away, I cannot give you any more Jaffa in which to incubate your young." Jolinar looked like she was about to give up.

"It is not your fault. It all went wrong because I got us outlawed with my animosity towards Ra. I should have tolerated him instead of behaving as I did. Without that, Apophis would never have so daringly joined the battle against you - and Cronus and Bastet would surely not have chosen to attack. As it is, they and all the Goa'uld have a casus belli against us. Jolinar...you have done all you could and more. But we will find a way - I _know_ we will."

"Yes, Mother, you are always so certain we will succeed. No matter how badly everything goes. I have always wondered about that. Is it just your conviction in the worthiness of our cause that make you believe it will succeed eventually? Or is it something more..." Selmak, a young Tok'ra, asked. She had just returned from her second undercover mission, and had been included in the discussions of the newly formed Tok'ra council.

"You know I cannot tell you that, sweetie." Egeria smiled. "But trust me. I _know_."

Jolinar had been considering the various options. She had only one plan, but she believed it _might_ work. It would be very dangerous and many of them would likely be killed - if not all of them.

"As you know, they have been keeping the chaapa'ai dialed constantly to prevent us from storming it and getting away through it. I no longer have a Ha'tak, but I do have 2 Alkesh and a Teltac. I have talked to some of my Jaffa, and they are willing to make a diversion with the 2 Alkesh. Meanwhile, Egeria, Selmak, and as many others as possible will take the Teltac and flee. The rest will hide in the mountains and follow through the chaapa'ai when it is no longer guarded or kept active. Apophis will hopefully believe everyone are either dead or has fled in the ships. Therefore they should lower their guards here quickly and not search too carefully for those who are staying. The question is - to where would we flee?"

"Your former underling, Cordesh...he can be trusted, can he not?"

"Yes, I believe he can. However, he is now officially a vassal of Zipacna. If he is to be of any use to us as an undercover agent - as he promises he will be - then we cannot destroy his cover by going to him."

"Then I suggest we hide on one of my worlds." Egeria said. "I still have three planets. They are far away from everything - and only one of them even has a small castle. However, all of them have villages with friendly people and plenty of food. They don't have much easily accessibly naquadah and other minerals, though..."

"That is unfortunate, when it comes to rebuilding our forces - but it will likely protect us against most attacks." Jolinar said thoughtfully.

"Yes. We Tok'ra will have to change our tactics. First we had actual military forces and fought battles with large armies consisting of both Tok'ra and Jaffa. We fought in the way the Goa'uld have fought. Then, as our power decreased, we changed to smaller attack forces, and then even further to mostly using stealth attacks. Now we will have to go all the way and focus almost exclusively on subversion, infiltration...we must become undercover agents, working inside the Goa'uld society. Jolinar, I know you prefer more direct action, but it will not be possible - at least not for the immediate future." Egeria said.

"I know." Jolinar smiled sadly. "However, we will persevere...we will _succeed_! Even if it should take thousands of years."

"What about the Jaffa, then? For the next generations of Tok'ra?" Selmak wondered.

"Some of my brave Jaffa will hopefully live and join us in our new fight - they have willingly joined our cause, so they will surely do what they can to help..." Jolinar said.

Egeria nodded. "True, but that is a temporary solution as best - and only for some of the little ones. Most will grow up in lakes, as our ancestors did. That may actually be a good thing. Despite the fact that I have mitigated their bad memories and made sure it will never make them evil - ascertained they will share our ideals - I still wish for my children that they shall not be alone with those memories when they _do_ surface. Also, even without the nightmares the genetic memories often cause, growing up in a pouch is very lonely. I would spare them that as much as possible. When they grow up in ponds and lakes, we can talk with them - they can talk with each other...play...since they are not Goa'uld and do not consider each other rivals, they will surely enjoy the company."

They all agreed it would have been nice to do that instead of being in a pouch. So they decided it would indeed be a good idea for Egeria to let the new generation of Tok'ra be raised in lakes. Having friends and siblings to look after them. It would be closer to the childhood their hosts had had and surely much better for the little ones.


	12. On the Run

-  
The decision had been made to try Jolinar's plan. While some of her Jaffa made the diversion in the Alkesh, Jolinar, Egeria, and as many others as would fit on the Teltac, made a run for it. Apophis's forces apparently had not expected this, and they managed to get away, as did one of the Alkesh. The other was shot down.

They flew as fast as possible to the nearest unguarded planet that had a chaapa'ai. There they opened a wormhole to a planet they knew to be uninhabited. From there they continued on to one of Egeria's worlds - the one with the castle. Hopefully their taking a route past another planet on the way would throw the followers off their track.

They arrived on the planet late in the afternoon. It was a short walk to the castle. It had been unused for years, and it showed. They would have to spend some time repairing and cleaning it. After having checked out the place, the subdued survivors assembled in the kitchen. There they had started a fire in one of the ovens, and it was agreeably warm.

"The place is...liveable, I guess...or it will be. But what really matters is - are we safe here? It is known that Egeria has these worlds, even if it is perhaps not common knowledge. Would our enemies not seek us out here?" Selmak asked.

"I believe we will be quite safe here." Egeria said. "To the Goa'uld we will appear completely harmless, so they will have no reason to pursue us. We have no armies anymore - and no resources with which to rebuild." She looked at Jolinar, who nodded.

"That is so. And I think I understand what you mean. In a traditional sense, we are no longer even a potential threat - and the Goa'uld are nothing if not traditional."

"Exactly. They cannot imagine there is anything we can do now. Indeed - they cannot fathom that we will _ever_ be able to do anything but eke out a miserable existence. Or surrender and become someones underlings. They cannot see outside their traditional way of fighting. As long as they are not given cause to believe we can harm them, we will be left alone."

"Yes..._you_ will be left alone. I doubt I will. Thus none of you will be safe if I stay here for long. Apophis, Zipacna...and to some degree also Cronus...they all hate me with a passion. They will no doubt send one or more ashraks after me - if not a fleet."

"Then what will you do, Jolinar?" Egeria looked worriedly at her friend.

"First I shall go and find Travik, and see if he will trade me what we need. He knows I have relatively large, hidden funds which it will take me some time to access. He can perhaps help me with that. I also have some hidden resources here, as you know Egeria. That should be enough to repair this place and maybe outfit some of our people as Goa'uld underlings. If they are to work as undercover agents among the Goa'uld, they have to play the part. We will need resources and materials for this place, as well as a small amount of weapons. We also need to live until we can harvest or buy from the humans. They need to increase the amount they grow if we are to live on it as well. _And_ we need as many people as possible, of course, to replenish our ranks - and more. Egeria, I know you will spawn those, but we must think of the future. The children will not cost much to rear until they are ready to take hosts. By then we will need to feed and clothe - and arm - an ever increasing _resistance_. That is what the Tok'ra truly are now. Then - when our resources are secure for the immediate future, I will travel the Galaxy and help look for hosts."

Egeria nodded. "It sounds like a plan. So...we will use this planet as a base of operations for now. Eventually, the Goa'uld will realise we have ways to fight them still. Some of us will unavoidably get caught and they will learn there are Tok'ra among them - infiltrating every part of their society. When that happens we cannot stay on either of my three planets any longer. If we are to use them for raising our young, then these worlds _must_ seem as inconspicuous as possible. We cannot risk an attack in a nursery!"

"Of course not...and therefore this place can only be a temporary place for us to stay - only while we wait for all our kind and our allies to gather here. We need to see how many lived. During my travels I will also look for potential base worlds. We should have several and only stay a few of us in each place. That way they can not all be targeted when the Goa'uld learn we are still fighting them." Jolinar suggested.

After a short discussion the others agreed. They divided up the most pressing duties and started working on repairing the castle and setting up their base.

Over the next several months most of the surviving Tok'ra, many of Jolinar's Jaffa, as well as some of the humans who had joined their cause and waited to become hosts, found their way to the new base. It actually turned out that most of those who had stayed behind on Malkshur, had eventually managed to slip away safely through the chaapa'ai. Apophis had - as expected - given up the siege soon after Jolinar and Egeria's escape, and the search he had made of the planet had been less than thorough.

Just as they had suspected the Goa'uld thought about the Tok'ra as they would any enemy Goa'uld. They believed that without Jolinar a System Lord with forces, the Tok'ra were harmless. They left them alone.

The resources Jolinar had hidden away on Egeria's worlds were now used to setup the base. They set up many of the Tok'ra as operatives at the courts of various Goa'uld. Soon they had people everywhere and got much information back.

Jolinar then again went to Travik and asked him for help. This time in accessing some of her funds that were stored in naquadah - on Ra's world. It was a sort of bank used by the Goa'uld, and the currency was weapons-grade naquadah. The actual mineral was stored on one of Ra's worlds - no one knew which. When Jolinar's empire had started to fall, she had invested in quite large amount of naquadah there - but under a false name. She did not have the opportunity to access her funds, since they would be claimed by Ra if it were to be known that she was the owner. However, being the well-connected trader he was, Travik would be able to get to it. It would have to be done carefully, through middlemen, but it could be done. Jolinar met with him and he agreed to arrange it so she could withdraw from it when she needed - for 10% of the total sum. Jolinar knew well that this was an extremely fair deal, one he only gave her for old times sake. He would have to pay the various middlemen, and there were a not insignificant amount of risk involved.

Having assured access to these large funds, Jolinar knew the Tok'ra would have what they needed until they could begin to acquire resources in other ways.

Meanwhile, Egeria had chosen a few nice lakes and ponds on those two of her planets which did not have a castle. There she regularly spawned new Tok'ra. Several of the adult Tok'ra who already had hosts lived with the humans in the local villages. They were tasked with looking after their younger siblings. They made sure there were no large fish or other dangers in the water and fed the symbiotes regularly. And they talked and played with them often. The little ones always liked it when one of the adult Tok'ra swam in the water with them and petted them or played with them.

Jolinar travelled, looking for hosts and suitable base-planets. Several times she was stalked by ashraks, but she always managed to get away. From time to time she returned home to the other Tok'ra - to report, get updated information, and to relax.

The Tok'ra had established their base in Egeria's small castle and began placing more stealth operatives among the Goa'uld. Not long after one of their agents returned with important information. He had been stationed at Ra's court as a minor underling. He made sure to talk with the other Goa'uld there, and from time to time with the servants as well. Because of his job he had access to much information that would otherwise be hidden. As well, most would work on either one or other project and not see all documents. He, on the other hand, were in a position were he was able to see everything as a whole. Also, he was intelligent enough to be able to put the things he learned together. He then made further, discreet inquiries.

When he finally learned Ra's secret he was astonished and hurried to inform his queen Egeria and the rest of the Tok'ra council.

-  
"My queen Egeria...I have important news."

"Report, Telen."

"We - and all the Goa'uld - have long been convinced of Ra's great military power. That belief is _false_!"

"What!" Egeria and the others in the room looked at him with shock and disbelief.

"That _can't_ be true. You _must_ be mistaken!" Selmak said.

"It is true. I have brought proof."

Telen went on to explain that Ra - while a System Lord of decent power - in reality was not even on the level Jolinar had been when she was most powerful. He squandered much of the immense wealth that flowed to him, from the tributes everyone paid. He built extravagant pleasure palaces on each of his worlds, and bought exotic goods and slaves. When he could have constructed the biggest fleet of all times and raised the largest Jaffa army anyone had ever seen. But what he lacked in military planning skill, he more than made up for with his scheming and plotting. He played the other Goa'uld against each other and made allies here and there. No one knew he did not have the military power to come after them. Thus everyone feared him and bowed to him. The result was that he kept his power - but he would hardly be able to conquer new worlds if he wanted to - unless it was from very small opponents.

Learning this was a shock to the Tok'ra, but it also helped them plan their longer term strategies. Since Ra was not as powerful as was thought, and as he was likely to continue to waste his resources on luxuries and pleasure instead of military, the Tok'ra decided to try and make sure no other Goa'uld became all-powerful. It was surely better to have many small and medium-sized warlords to contend with, than one who could truly rule them all. In particular, it would be easier for the Tok'ra and any other resistance to avoid detection when the Goa'uld were bickering and competing among themselves, and not exchanging information. Also, if one were to become all-powerful, he or she would be much harder to fight and trick, and it would be more difficult to sneak in an operative or pretend to be someone at his court he just did not know.

For the same reasons the Tok'ra needed to avoid the Goa'uld allying themselves closely and cooperating. This would lead to a sharing of information and to them together becoming very powerful. Fortunately, it was easy to keep them enemies and competitors. The Tok'ra hoped to continue to play the Goa'uld against each other until the day when a way could be found to kill all the System Lords and/or convince the Goa'uld to change their ways. The Jaffa and the human slaves would also then have to be convinced the Goa'uld were not gods and work together with the Tok'ra. That, however, was for the future. For now it would be much too dangerous to announce their resistance to anyone but themselves.

The Tok'ra had now decided on a course of action, and set out to follow it. They placed operatives everywhere, but particularly at the courts of the major and minor System Lords. This gave them information about everything that happened among any of the Goa'uld. This was something no one else of their kind had done before. I was sometimes relatively quick and easy to get an agent in place as a trusted underling for a System Lord, but often it took a long time. This did not matter much, for the life of a Tok'ra is very long - even that of a host. They had the time and infinite patience to carry this off. In time they even tried placing Tok'ra in position as very minor System Lords. This, however, was very expensive and their funds were rarely sufficient.

Aside from keeping an eye on everything, the Tok'ra operatives slowly, over the years, manipulated as much as they could. They caused some Goa'uld to make bad decisions, and some to reject fortuitous alliances. They set one Goa'uld against another and made sure no one single System Lord became too powerful. At the same time the Tok'ra gathered resources, technology, science - and they also began their own research into most areas. They began inventing things on their own on a much larger scale than the Goa'uld ever had.

From time to time the Tok'ra succeeded in lessening the misery for the slaves on some of the worlds - especially those where they pretended to be their Lord.

Now, more than 30 years had passed since the Tok'ra had begun their new existence as a true resistance. They had fought with stealth and intelligence, instead of using only force. They had moved on to other base worlds, so as not to endanger the children growing up on Egeria's planets. Those it was not a problem to hide - symbiotes in lakes were not easily detected, not were their guardians - Tok'ra who lived as humans in the nearby villages.

When the Goa'uld had realised the heretic Tok'ra still fought them - just in a different way - they had come to look for them in the only place they thought possible; the castle on one of Egeria's worlds. Finding no one there, they did a quick search of all those three planets. When their investigations turned up nothing, these worlds were ignored and the Goa'uld eventually began searching all over the galaxy.

For safety's sake, the Tok'ra had split up among many resistance cells, stationed in bases on different worlds. This way not everyone could be caught or easily compromised at the same time. From time to time a base had to move, when it had been detected.

Their constant problem was that it was difficult to find safe base planets. If they chose to have a base on a world where no one else lived, it meant they had no population to hide among and they were discovered immediately if anyone should happen upon them. On the other hand, hiding a military base on an already populated planet meant endangering these people - as well as further danger to the Tok'ra since many people would then know of their base location. They desperately needed another option.

-  
One of the current Tok'ra bases was located in a mountainous region. There they had hidden it in caves and tunnels. This was one of the best places for a base - and the type of location they looked for when surveying possible base planets.

Sevil/Tanna was a young Tok'ra stationed at this base. Sevil, the host, had worked as a chemist on one of the few more evolved worlds, which had been abandoned by the Goa'uld long ago. His young Tok'ra symbiote, Tanna, very much shared his interest in science, though her interest was more in the field of geology. Most symbiotes had a preferred gender. She identified as female, and had always wanted a female host, but as a Tok'ra you did not always have a choice. She was more than happy to have a willing host - and one that shared her passion for science even. They had quickly been getting along much better than anyone - themselves included - had expected. They were the best of friends.

Their combined interest in chemistry and geology had led them to explore and examine the crystal formations found in their current home. One day they got an idea that might help the Tok'ra get better and safer bases. They immediately started working on their project.

It took them several years to develop the first working prototype. Eventually they were ready to show it to Egeria and the rest of the Tok'ra council. Jolinar came into the room just as they started, having arrived on the planet a few moments before.

Sevil nervously stood before the council. Tanna gave him a quick hug before he started. "We believe we have a solution to the problem we have of finding safe locations for our bases. As you all know, we have for several years tried to place them on uninhabited planets that have mountains close to the chaapa'ai. Mountains which already contain caves and tunnels which we can expand for our use. That works...but aside from the fact that they are hard to find, we cannot easily shape them to our needs. We cannot move them closer to or further away from the chaapa'ai. There is a limit to how much we can widen and lengthen the tunnels and caves without it being visible from the outside. The caves are often cold and wet - and there are always problems with rats, snakes, spiders, and so on, no matter how hard we work at eliminating them. Tanna and I believe we have a solution. We dig our own tunnels in the ground. We can then put them in any location which have suitable soil, and shape them as we wish."

"You know...we have tried that. It is very difficult to dig out the tunnels quickly, especially if you want to do it safely. It is also difficult to ensure the continuing safety of the tunnels. Timbering and bracing walls and ceilings are not a total guarantee against cave-ins. If all of this are to be done properly it takes a long time - time were we are exposed and the tunneling may be detected. Even aside from the risk of collapse and need for speed, we still need to dig the tunnels into a soft-ish mountain side or hill side. This means we need to locate some of those near the chaapa'ai." Selmak said, smiling at the young man.

"I suggest digging our tunnels quite deep and fully underground - say, in the desert out there. Then we do not need a hill- or mountainside. If they are fully sealed, no one can easily detect us if they do not know we are there. We will use ring transporters to go in and out."

"It is not a bad idea." Egeria said, "but as Selmak noted, it takes a long time to dig out those tunnels, especially since care must be taken to stabilize them against collapse. This is even more difficult to do in sand - and in a flat terrain. I understand this could be done while we still stay on the former base, but what if we have to move base quickly? It would be risky to go to another base and potentially compromise that as well. Selmak's other point is valid also - the construction can be seen on the surface while we build, and afterwards it may be hard to camouflage it quickly and effectively."

Sevil bowed his head briefly, giving control to Tanna.

"That is true. However, our idea solves this problem. This 'tunnel-crystal' will utilize the available materials to create crystals which will be patterned so that they leave behind tunnels. These tunnels will be lined with those very thick crystals. Allow me to demonstrate."

She went outside, followed by the council members. A short walk took them to the spot she and Sevil had chosen for their demonstration. It was a flat, hard patch of sand in the desert not far from the Tok'ra mountain base.

Turning the crystal in her hand, she slammed it hard into the ground, while pressing the mechanism that triggered it.

Everyone in the audience gasped, as a broad tunnel opened in the sand in front of them. The end of it quickly moved away from them, glowing brightly. The glittering blue sides were covered with hard, thick crystals. People walked to the closest and touched them carefully. They were still a little warm, but were cooling quickly.

Egeria tapped the crystals gently, then knocked hard on them. They did not move or crack. "Seems solid enough..."

"Yes, they should easily be able to withstand an Ha'tak landing on top of the ground above them. Even tolerate being bombed for a while, so a Goa'uld dropping bombs on the ground just to see if we are there, will not harm us."

"Impressive! We will have to further test the stability and safety of the tunnels, of course, but this may indeed be the solution to our base-problem." Egeria turned to Tanna. "Well done!"

She smiled. "Thank you...we have ideas for how to start the construction entirely underground, with the setting up of a ring transporter. Also, it should be easily possible to modify the crystals to make chambers - even furniture..."

"Excuse me?" The meek voice of Per'sus, junior member of the council, was heard. "I...I thought...how do you get air down there? I mean, until you get some sort of ventilation set up?"

"That is a good question. As it happens, that is not a problem. The creation of the crystal releases oxygen in copious quantities, and the air is as good as it is on the surface. There are no dangerous by-products. There will be more than enough air and heat created to give us time to set up ventilation and climate-control systems. There will even be luminosity enough to see by, until we get that set up as well."

After some more discussions, the council retired for the day. Egeria went to talk with Jolinar, who had kept to herself over at the side of the group. Not being a member of the council anymore - by choice, since bureaucracy was not something she enjoyed - she felt a little like an outsider.

"Jolinar! Good friend. It has been almost a year since we last saw you. You have been sorely missed - and you too, Arnora." Egeria smiled fondly at her friend.

Jolinar smiled back. "Hello, Egeria, Ariane. Yes, unfortunately I am rarely able to return to any of the bases."

"I wish you could stay. It would be nice to have you here, and you would be a valuable addition to the council, if we could but convince you to rejoin it."

"I would enjoy staying her some time, for sure, but politics and diplomacy is not my style. I greatly prefer action, as you well know, compared to the interminable meetings." She smiled. "At any rate...my visit here is short. I wished to give you some information I came upon..." She rummaged around in a pocket and found a data crystal which she gave to Egeria.

"This is all you want? Report in and leave? You have friends here, never forget that. You need rest!"

Jolinar sighed. "That may be...I cannot stay. It would not do, for either me nor the rest of you." She smiled faintly, trying to change the subject. "So people have started doing that head-bow thing when they change between host and symbiote? I remember there was talk about it when I was last here. I can understand why it is a good idea. It hides the eye-flash which bothers some of the future hosts. Also other humans as well as Jaffa that we meet. Too many are reminded of the Goa'uld when they see it. There is also the advantage that it gives you a moment to focus after being given control - especially for the host it takes some time getting used to the switches."

"Yes - as well, it is a formal way of showing everyone around you that control has changed. It is another thing to set us apart from the Goa'uld."

Jolinar nodded, then decided she had better get going, so as not to endanger her friends. "Egeria - that data crystal I gave you...it also contains information about how to find and access my hidden funds and resources, should you and the Tok'ra need them..."

"Jolinar?" Egeria suddenly felt fear grip her. "What is wrong?"

"An ashrak."

"You have been stalked by ashraks before."

"True, but none like this one. He is more talented than any I have met before. I cannot elude him. I fear this may well be our last meeting."

"But...surely he will not kill you, even if he should catch you - which I doubt will happen." Egeria tried to comfort both herself and Jolinar. "You are a System Lord..._was_ a System Lord at any rate. They would never kill you."

"No...perhaps not. I have not committed any crimes as unspeakable as Anubis - by far. So you are right - they will likely not kill me - it is not that long ago that I was one of them...but they may well put me in a stasis jar. Indefinitely. Hidden somewhere or on display for whomever it is that wants me." Jolinar looked even more distressed. "And my poor Arnora...her they will almost certainly kill..."

Egeria looked down, not knowing what to say. Finally she went to Jolinar and put her arms around her, hugging her tightly. Jolinar hugged her back. There was nothing more to say.

-  
It was less than a week later when the Tok'ra heard that Jolinar had been captured and brought before Apophis. He did not bother with torturing her for information, but merely gloated over her capture. He then pronounced her 'hako thra terak shree', or 'banished to oblivion' as punishment for 'heresy against doctrine'. Jolinar knew it meant she had been condemned to spend eternity in a stasis jar.

Knowing that the punishment would be carried out immediately, she turned her attention inward and spent her last waking moment on saying her goodbyes to Arnora. She knew well that her host would not survive the Goa'uld extraction process, which really just amounted to crudely cutting the symbiote out of the host.

Jolinar and Arnora had been together for almost 150 years - and they had become the best of friends. Arnora assured Jolinar she in no way regretted having been her host, and would not have wanted to live her life in any other way.

Having decided it would be the most merciful, and having obtained Arnora's permission, Jolinar was about to kill them both when they were hit by a zat'nik'tel shot. When Jolinar came to she had already been extracted and barely had time to register anything before she felt herself being lowered into a powerful sedative. Around her she saw the sides of a stasis jar. She was already unconscious when the lid was sealed and the stasis field activated.

The Tok'ra soon learned that Jolinar's stasis jar had been put up on display in one of Apophis's palaces. They laid a plan to free her and a small group of Tok'ra volunteered to try to carry it out. Unfortunately, it went very badly. They got inside the palace and even to the room Jolinar was stored in, but they were detected before they could get to her. Several of the Tok'ra were killed. Apophis then moved the stasis jar to a small unknown temple on one of his lesser worlds. There Jolinar remained hidden for almost 1000 years.


	13. A New Life

-  
The young woman had just been initiated as a junior priestess at the temple of Apophis. As such, she had to spend the night in the old catacombs under the temple. She only had a flickering oil lamp to light the corridors, and it created scary shadows everywhere.

It was really creepy down here. Many old relics were kept here, from when the god still regularly visited. That was many years ago now. The young woman reflected that they must have angered him. The large fireball that had struck from the sky must have been his punishment to them. It had buried the Ring of the Gods - presumably this signalled that their god wanted nothing to do with them until they had again proven themselves worthy. Fearfully they had continued offering prayers at his temple. They had delivered his tribute in naquadah to the temple instead of taking it to the place near the ring where the Jaffa usually would come to pick it up.

In spite of the houses that also had been destroyed, and the people who had been killed, there had been some relief among the population. At least the Jaffa would not be able to come for hosts during this time were Apophis considered them unworthy.

And so they had no hurry to unbury the Stargate. Besides, Apophis was a god and would likely see to it that it was freed of the rubble when he wanted to contact them, would he not? Of course, the people still followed the religious services and mined the naquadah - you never knew. This might be a test.

Almost 30 years had now passed, with no sign of Apophis or his Jaffa servants.

Merina, the young priestess, had of course only heard stories of this. She had just turned 15, and as the eldest daughter in her family she was given to the temple to be trained as a priestess. She now had to spend the night in this frightening place, filled with artifacts from the old days. Fearfully she thought of the stories she had been told. Of the Jaffa and of the gods themselves. How - it was only whispered about - some of those taken from the village through the Ring of the Gods had been seen again later. However, they were now no longer the same person. Their _soul_ was different - a _god_ was living there now and he or she had taken over the other person so completely, that it no longer existed.

How frightening this was! To be taken over and disappear - leaving only the shell for the god to use. How strange it was! But was it not also an honour, though? To serve your god thus?

Merina pondered all these things. She knew well that it might have been her fate, had Apophis not abandoned them. The original laws had required each family to offer up the eldest son or daughter, if they had more than one. If then the god did not want them, they would serve in the temple. Else they would disappear through the Ring, usually never to be seen again.

She pulled her straying thoughts back to the present. She just needed to get through this lonely night, then she could return to the surface. Now, if she only had something to strengthen her spirit with...

Looking around she had spotted the jar, casually leaning against the wall in a corner of one of the many tunnels in the catacombs. Picking it up, Merina saw it was sealed. She shook it gently, hearing something slush inside. Could it be wine, perhaps? It would make sense to have that in a sealed jar, despite the decorations being rather strange. She thought that wine might surely make the night less frightening. She looked closer at it. There was some text on it as well, written in the language of the gods. She did not now how to read it, so she did not worry too much about that.

She argued back and forth with herself over whether to open it or not. If it was indeed wine it would likely calm her, but what if it belonged to their Lord Apophis? Would he not be mad at her for taking it? However, if he wanted it, he would surely not have left it here for her to find! No, if anything, she was _meant_ to find it!

Resolute, the young woman sat down and took hold of the jar, removing the lid from it. Putting the lid down, she tilted the vessel slightly and looked inside. Some of the liquid spilled. Whatever the fluid was, it emitted a soporific vapour. Merina started to feel tired and dizzy. All of a sudden she thought she saw something move inside the jar. Looking closer she suddenly yawned mightily.

The next thing she knew, she was thrown back against the wall by the force of the symbiote entering her. She had no time to register what was happening before darkness engulfed her and she sank to the floor, unconscious.

-  
Later, she awoke. She heard a voice talking, apologizing. She listened, confused.

"What do you mean...'you're sorry for having taken me as a host'? What do you mean? Who are you? _Where_ are you?"

*You..._Merina_...you need not speak out loud. I can hear you just fine if you just _think_ the words to me. I am Jolinar of Malkshur, and...and I am in your _head_...well, _neck_, mostly, but..._you_ are my host. And for that I am sorry. I...I thought you were volunteering...*

"_Host_!" Merina suddenly realised what this...this _Jolinar_ was talking about. "You are a _god_...I thought you had abandoned us...wait, how is it that I can still talk? Feel? Think? Do anything? Do I not cease to exist when a god takes my body to live in?"

*No...that is a lie, spread by the Goa'uld. One they likely believe themselves, most of them at least. And I am no god! And neither are the Goa'uld! But, yes, you are my host...I am living in your body...I thought you were offering. And please, _think_ your answer to me. I do not know who might hear us.*

*No one else will be here until tomorrow. Jolinar...will I still exists? Still be _me_?* Merina _thought_ to the symbiote.

*Yes, of course. I only wish to _share_ your body. Not take it from you.*

*Then...then...I guess...I am _honoured_ to be permitted to share my humble form with a _god_!*

*I am _not_ a god!* Then she added more kindly. *If you wish me to leave, I will. As soon as I can find another host.*

*Sorry, I doubt you will easily be able to find a willing host here, and I know of no way off of the planet. At least not until our Lord Apophis sees fit to contact us again.*

*The chaapa'ai..._the Ring of the Gods_...it does not function?*

*It does not. It was hit by a ball of fire from the sky, surely sent by our god to punish us for our many failings. It buried the ring deep in the ground.*

*A meteor, most likely...I shall have to find another way off this world...and a new host, unless you truly do not mind that I stay?* Jolinar sounded hopeful.

*I...I cannot say that I do not mind at all, but I am not truly against it, I think. May I have a short while to consider? I believe I may end up agreeing to being your...your _host_.*

*Of course!* Jolinar hugged her. *Think it over. You must be certain of this, as it is not a trivial choice - and it is for life.*

They spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other somewhat better. Merina told Jolinar what little she knew of her planet and its connection with Apophis. Jolinar, on the other hand, told Merina about the Goa'uld, the Galaxy, and a little about the Tok'ra. Since she did not yet know if Merina would stay her host, she could not tell too much about her people. There were still more than enough to tell until it was quite late and they both fell asleep.

-  
Next morning, several of the priestesses came to fetch Merina and she followed them to the temple above. Jolinar had made her promise not to say anything about her presence, and she did not.

They were taken to the room that was to be Merina's. She was told to bathe and change into clothing suitable for a young priestess. When she had done so, she gave Jolinar control. She walked around for a little while, getting used to this new body. After a while she went over to stand in front of the mirror.

Jolinar was surprised to see that her young new host was stunningly beautiful! She had long, shining black hair, and the most beautiful green eyes Jolinar had ever seen. Her skin had an almost olive tone to it and was soft and smooth. Jolinar experimentally let her hands slide slowly down her body - and over her breasts which were already full, despite her hosts young age. She turned a little and saw she had an almost perfect figure. She sighed. This young woman would certainly have been chosen as a host if any Goa'uld had seen her. Now fate had made her a host anyway - but to a Tok'ra. Jolinar sighed again. She should be pleased, but all she could really think about was how different Merina looked compared to Arnora. She felt a sudden, sharp pang of grief thinking about the loss. As nearly as Jolinar could determine from what Merina had told her, Arnora had died a thousand years ago. That may be - but to Jolinar it was yesterday.

Her new host felt Jolinar's sudden silence.

*What is it? Do I not please you?*

*Of course you do! You are very beautiful. Any symbiote would love to have you as a host, but...I...I cannot help but think of my former host...*

*You miss her?*

*Yes...yes, very much so. It is a good thing that we have not yet blended fully, or you would be overwhelmed by my grief for her.*

-  
A few days passed and Jolinar slowly started speaking a little more, though she still was very quiet and brooded much over the past.

Merina mostly left her alone, sensing that she needed the privacy. Both to mourn her former host and to think about how to continue from here. Merina was glad of it, since she too needed time to come to terms with everything that had changed in her life. She also needed to decide whether or not she wanted to remain Jolinar's host.

When almost a week had gone by, Merina felt she knew what she wanted. She had spent more time talking to Jolinar and was getting to know her better. There had been much work to do as a newly initiated priestess. Most of it was manual labour, but there was also some studying, mostly of religious texts. She had quickly found she liked neither, especially since several of the others were nasty towards her and let her do much more than her fair share of the work.

*Jolinar...*

*Yes?*

*I have made my decision. I wish to remain your host.*

*You are certain?* She sounded cautiously happy.

*I would not have to stay here in the temple as your host?*

*No, of course not. It may take a little time to find an excuse to get away from here, but we have far better things to do than singing praise to Apophis!* Jolinar snorted.

*Then I am _very_ sure.*

*You do understand that if we get away from this planet you will have to fight the Goa'uld? It is a very dangerous occupation.*

*Jolinar...yes, I understand. I will help you fight the Goa'uld, if we should ever get off this world. Which I personally think is doubtful, knowing now that Apophis is no god and thus can not just remove the rubble from the Ring of...the _chaapa'ai_.*

Jolinar hugged her host happily. *Thank you so much for agreeing to stay my host! As for the chaapa'ai - the people of this world would be able to dig it free themselves...* She was quiet for a little while, *...of course, then Apophis or another Goa'uld could again easily come here and subjugate you once more. Endangering your people like that just so I can conveniently leave this planet is _wrong_...*

*We are safe while the chaapa'ai is buried?*

*Mostly, but not totally. They can still come in ships - but it is less likely. They would only do so if they could not easily get in other places what they can here - which they can.*

*So we stay here?*

*For now, at least. I have not given up hope of eventually rejoining the Tok'ra. Until then, there must be some way for me..._us_...to help this people recover from the subjugation they have suffered from the Goa'uld.*

-  
After having blended fully they knew each other better than most people would after years of friendship. They then began to make plans. They could not think of another way of leaving the planet without endangering the population, unless a ship could be found. They decided to do what they could to help this world advance. Jolinar had much knowledge - even of simple technology which could be built at the planets current level of development. Irrigation, windmills, watermills, better sewage, medicinal herbs, reading, writing, mathematics, science...the list went on.

Now they just needed to find a way of getting themselves in a position were people would listen to them.

*Unless you have a better plan, we have to work ourselves up to become leaders of the temple - then they will listen.*

*Could you not just use the...the hand device you found in one of the corridors of the catacombs - and convince them you are a god? Then they will surely listen to you.*

*I suppose I could, but that would not be the correct way to do it - I do not wish to exchange one false god for another when it is not strictly necessary.*

*You promised me I would not have to remain here in the temple long if I let you stay!* Merina accused.

*A promise I intend to keep! With my help you will advance quickly. You will not need to spend years learning to read and write Goa'uld - you already got that knowledge because of the blending. You will show yourself to be a dutiful and intelligent student. Soon they will let us spend our time with the books and working for the higher priestesses. Helping them instead of doing manual labour. With only a little luck we will soon be in a position to contact the village's ruler - or even the planet's ruler, if there is one? Then we will become his or her advisor.* Jolinar sounded both optimistic and enthusiastic.

*Perhaps so...* Merina sounded less than convinced. *Even if it does work, the other novices and lower priestesses in the temple will hate me.*

*So what! Let them! We will soon be gone far from their influence.*

*All right, then. Let us try.*


	14. Development

-  
The plan worked surprisingly well. Merina and Jolinar allowed it to be seen that Merina had learned Goa'uld very quickly and was very good at it already. Both reading _and_ writing it. It did not take long before this was noticed. They were transferred to a position as assistant to the temple librarian, who was in charge of all the documents and books in the whole temple. Merina no longer had to 'waste' her time on hard manual labour and spent most of the days in the library, reading. This meant she could hide from those few others who were angry at her sudden and very early promotion.

-  
Almost half a year passed. Outside it was now hot and dry - the worst drought in 30 years. It happened from time to time, but before there had been the possibility of help from other planets. Not so now. The desperate population tried to save their crop by carrying water in buckets from the river to their fields. It did not help much. They quickly turned to the temple and began wailing prayers to Apophis. They asked for his forgiveness and his return to the planet, in order to save them in their need.

Merina looked worriedly at the sky. It was as usual clear without any clouds. She and Jolinar knew well that Apophis would not hear the prayers and would probably not have helped them if he did. They were currently walking back to the library after the mid-day meal.

*If it does not soon rain, the harvest will fail and we shall all starve!*

Jolinar sighed. *They should build irrigation to water the fields.*

*It has been attempted, but there is no elevated water source for many many miles. Nothing before the distant mountains. Even if we could build a canal there, the water would disappear into the porous sand of the desert long before it got here.*

*There are many ways to seal the canals against leakage. Even wood would work to some degree...however, you have recently dug a new well which holds plenty of water. There is also a river close by this village. Admittedly, it has less water than usually, but why do your people not utilize these water sources?*

*The villagers are trying, but it simply takes too long moving the water using only buckets and digging irrigation ditches does no good. The area between the river and the fields are flat. The water will not run.*

They had now gotten back to the library. Jolinar had taken control as no one was around, and she now walked over to the selves, scanning the titles on the volumes.

*Have you no knowledge of any sort of water lift? I could show you how to build several, but I assume it would seem suspicious that you all of a sudden got this knowledge. And we cannot reveal my presence, of course - not yet, at least.*

*What are you looking for?*

*A book which describes how to make a primitive water lift - then you can pretend to have read that by coincidence, and show it to the head librarian. Hopefully, she will go to the village elders and suggest it is built.*

Jolinar continued rummaging around the shelves.

*Nothing?*

*Wait...hmmm...even Apophis cannot have been stupid enough to deem knowledge of technology as basic as _this_ illegal...hah, _here_.* She pulled out a book and dusted it off. It had clearly not been looked at for centuries. Jolinar opened it. *Damnation! It is written in ancient Goa'uld!*

Merina looked at it. *But I at least recognize the letters...I think I will be able to read it, given a little time.*

*Yes, because you gained parts of my knowledge about it in the blending. I can read it - it is in my genetic memory, inherited from my Goa'uld queen. I did only share some of that with you, as much of it is..._unpleasant_. I rarely look into it myself, unless I need it...such as now.* Jolinar made a decision. *We shall have to pretend you have taught yourself how to read this, secretly...*

*Is that even possible?*

*Yes. It is possible...given long enough time. However, they don't know how long it would take, given only knowledge of the current, common dialects of Goa'uld. But you are a genius - they know that! They will not question it.* Jolinar grinned, then went to sit at the table with the book opened in front of her.

Quickly sharing the knowledge of ancient Goa'uld with Merina, Jolinar then gave over control. Merina read through the section about water lifts, as well as that about leak-proofing wooden canals using wool or similar fibers. She then went to the head librarian and showed her what she had found. The librarian praised her and immediately went to talk to their leaders. A short time later, they sent for Merina. She spent a relatively long time explaining how the water lift were to be built and the canals sealed. Jolinar had decided it was more important that it was easy to understand and could be built fast, than that it was advanced. Thus the water lift they would be building was one of the most primitive forms, called a 'shaduf'. This type had an upright frame on which was suspended a long pole, about a fifth of the way from the end. On the long end hang a bucket, and on the short end was a weight - usually made of stone or clay. A person would stand beside it and constantly dip the bucket in water and empty it out in the canals. The water would then run through various ditches to the fields were it was needed. It was, however, hard work for the person operating it.

Already the day after Merina had explained the construction, building began. The irrigation system - lift and canals - were built surprisingly quickly. People were well aware of the importance of the project and worked long and hard.

Soon the irrigation system was finished and people took turns manning the shaduf. It was relatively hard manual work, but could not easily be automated in any way. However, it worked and the crop grew well. Famine would be averted for another year.

Jolinar knew well that it could be done both better and easier, even with the very primitive means available there. She looked through the books for descriptions of either a water wheel or an Archimedes's Screw. When after some time she had found neither, she ended up drawing them herself and writing down the descriptions. Merina then took her suggestions to the head librarian and said she had been inspired by various other inventions in the book. The librarian was very impressed by her ideas, and Merina was again taken to the leaders of the village.

They too liked her ideas very much and agreed to have an Archimedes's Screw constructed and installed. They were also interested in her suggestions for a watermill, which she had drawn up as well. It would function using the water wheel.

After the Archimedes's Screw had been constructed, Merina introduced a windmill to drive it, whenever the wind was blowing. There were now only need for someone to occasionally supervise the water lifting part of the irrigation system, and no one had to manually lift the water. This impressed the village elders so much that they decided Merina should stop being a priestess at the temple and work directly and exclusively on improving the village. She would assume the position of a sort of village engineer.

Over the years, Merina/Jolinar did their best to help develop the village and those nearby. This partly alleviated Jolinar's guilty conscience. She felt remorse at not being able to fight the Goa'uld directly, but especially about having been a Goa'uld herself. She had subjugated her people, even if her rule had been less harsh than that of many others. Jolinar also felt some guilt that she - a convinced Tok'ra - had taken an unwilling host, despite the circumstances.

Merina and Jolinar soon became leaders of a small, but growing group of apprentices, whom she trained. She carefully selected those she found to be intelligent, choosing from all parts of society. Her students first learned to read and write, then were slowly taught what they needed to help in the work to develop of the village.

-  
More than 15 years had passed. Despite a thorough - but secret - search of the surroundings of the villages, they had not found any Goa'uld ships. Soon it would become necessary to disclose that Merina was host to Jolinar. Already people had remarked on the fact that Merina still looked much like a teenager. In a society were people worked hard, usually outside where they were exposed to the weather, the majority looked much older than their years. However, Merina and Jolinar had still not found a good way to reveal Jolinar's existence.

Today they were sitting in their office, working on an idea to improve the sewage system of the village. They were just taking a break to get something to eat, when the head of the apprentices looked inside.

"Merina - do you have time to speak with us for a little while?"

Jolinar quickly gave control to Merina who looked up. "Yes, of course, Reshnak. Please come in."

He went inside, followed by all the other apprentices. They looked quietly at Reshnak, expecting him to speak for all of them.

He seemed nervous, fidgeting a little as he stood there before his master. "Well...we have been thinking...you know...besides giving us much technical knowledge, you have also taught us how to read the ancient texts...we have learned much from those..."

"Yes...?" Merina prodded when he did not continue.

"Over time we have...noticed some things...some signs...for one thing, some of us knew you before you entered the temple. And while we often recognize that person still...sometimes you are..._different_..."

"I have changed over time, of course, because of my experiences. There is nothing strange in that. Everyone does that. After all, 15 years has passed since then..."

"Yes, we understand that...however, this leads to another oddity. You have barely aged in those 15 years. And another thing...a couple months ago, you were injured in the mill. Your injuries were grave, yet only days later you walked like before - though only when no one looked. You pretended to limp when you thought you were being observed. I might also point out that the deep gash on your arm..." he pointed, "...was soon gone, without even leaving a scar!"

"And what is your conclusion? That I am unusually healthy?" She said as she reached for the apple she had been about to eat before they entered. She took at bite from it.

"No. There were certain...references in the old texts. References to beings such as yourself. Forgive me, but I believe...we believe, that you are not quite human. Are you a Goa'..._uld_?"

Merina was quiet for a while, letting Jolinar take control. "And what if I am?" She said, using Merina's voice - realising they would not know to understand the differences between Tok'ra and Goa'uld.

"Then...nothing. We owe everything to you. Our knowledge, our lives - all the progress our villages have seen. 15 years ago we were barely eeking out a living. Now our granaries are overflowing. Starvation is a thing of the past...sewerage has removed many diseases. Bottom line...you can count on us - and your teachings are spreading to other villages. _But_ there are those who would fear you, if your true nature became known."

"Imminently logical...you have made all the right conclusions..." Jolinar's eyes flashed, drawing a gasp from the audience. When she spoke again she used the characteristic flanged voice of a symbiote. "I am Jolinar of Malkshur. Over 1000 years ago I was a mighty System Lord who did battle among the stars and fought the _false_ gods who imprison mankind."

Reshnak and the other apprentices had taken a step back against the wall. "Forgive us..." Reshnak began.

"Fear not. The person you have worked with for the last 15 years is really a combination of Merina and I, as we have both spoken to you, using her voice."

"So...so Merina is still there?"

"Yes, we are two people who can both control the body. Sometimes I am in control, sometimes she is." Jolinar smiled a little at them. "It is, in many ways, a relief not to have to hide my true identity to those I have worked so closely with for years...to those I have come to consider my friends."

-  
Having had her identity revealed, Jolinar no longer had to worry about her apprentices. Soon she had re-established a good relationship with them and they no longer feared her.

*This...that our apprentices know. It is a good thing - also because it means we could now maybe have a relationship with Reshnak. He is interested, that is obvious...as am I...and you want him too, Jolinar, do not deny it...*

*I will not deny it - as you well know, our feelings are one. However, I am not so sure it is a good idea. We will live for so much longer than him - he will live another 50-70 years...at the _most_...probably less, as this is still a very hard world to live in. By then you will not even look 30! Such a relationship will only bring us sorrow.*

*You are right, of course...but do you mean we can never have love? That we must refrain from taking a mate - forever?*

*I do not relish the thought either, but...I am not saying we can't have shorter affairs. All I am saying is that we must be careful not to become too deeply involved emotionally.*

*I am not so sure that is truly possible. I really wish we could take Reshnak as our mate and live a normal life with him - if there only were a way of making him live as long as I.*

Jolinar hugged her host. *I know, my dear Merina. I wish that as well. However, the only way I know of is to contact the Tok'ra and have a symbiote blend with him. Apart from the fact that we do not know if he would even want that, there is also currently no way off the planet. Not except for unburying the chaapa'ai, and I will not risk your people being suppressed by the Goa'uld just for our sake. That would be wrong.*

Merina sighed lightly. She admitted to herself that Jolinar's attitude was probably the wisest. That did not stop her from wishing it was different.


	15. Return

-  
Over the years, she allowed more and more people to know. Slowly preparing them for the day when all would be told. When finally she publicly revealed what she was, the vast majority willingly - or at least relatively easily - accepted it. There was, however, a small but vocal group of people who did not trust her. They believed she would eventually grab power and behave like the Goa'uld they knew from the stories. That she was just lulling them into a false sense of security, in order to more easily subjugate them. They tried to convince everyone else of this idea and to rouse the population to fight her 'while they still had the chance'. They did not listen to those with a cooler head, who told them that a Goa'uld would not behave thus - developing the society and sharing her knowledge.

However, as is so often the case, some people started doubting Jolinar's sincerity and the dissent began to rise within the population. The leader of her opponents was a man called Tennok. The unrest continued to a point where one day Merina/Jolinar awoke to a large commotion outside. They hurried out of bed and dressed quickly, before running out into the street.

There a group of villagers were rioting and had set fire to some of the buildings. The wind was picking up and the fire was quickly burning out of control. Already more buildings were catching fire. Jolinar turned around and grabbed hold of one of her students who was standing nearby, looking shocked.

"Find all your colleagues and meet me here as quickly as possible! Send someone to alert the Firemen's guild." She let go of him as soon as he had nodded his consent. He still looked faintly bewildered. Jolinar ran inside and snatched a healing device that had been found about a year ago, and then hurried outside again.

When shortly thereafter everyone was there, Jolinar led them to the city square and immediately got as many people as possible engaged in putting out the fire. The officially appointed firemen were there as well. Jolinar was now very happy that they had made sure a Firemen's guild had been created a few years back. Unfortunately they were too few for something as large as this, but together with other volunteers it would hopefully be enough. As the irrigation canal passed close by the burning part of the city, they were going to use that.

They began to douse the houses next to the flames with as much water as possible, in an attempt to contain the fire that was now spreading quickly. Fortunately, there had been no people in the houses catching fire at first, so they could concentrate on protecting those that were inhabited.

Suddenly they heard desperate screams from inside one of the burning houses, and moments later a boy came running out - unharmed. Another followed closely behind, shouting at them.

"Jonn is still in there! He is trapped!"

A couple of the people who was trying to put out the fires ran to the open door and looked inside. It was very hot and flames licked the walls. Several beams had fallen from the roof, and they were now blocking most of their path as well as their line of vision. Jolinar came over and looked in as well. Just then they heard someone scream in terror as more of the roof caved in.

"We cannot go in there - there is no way through!" One of the firemen said, sadly.

Jolinar quickly surveyed the room and then looked around outside. She spotted a large piece of heavy cloth, hanging on a clothes line near one of the other houses.

"I have an idea..." She ran and got the cloth. When she came back she put it on the ground. "Pour a _lot_ of water on it. Make sure it is thoroughly drenched - then pour some on me as well. And hurry!" She added, as the men stared blankly at her.

They complied and Jolinar wrapped the wet cloth around her, then alternately ran and jumped through the burning rubble inside the house. In the furthest corner she found the boy, Jonn, son of Tennok. He lay unconscious on the floor, his left arm and leg burned badly. Parts of his head and hair were too covered by blood and sooth for Jolinar to assess the damage fully. She quickly kicked the nearest smoldering beam aside and picked up the child, wrapping the cloth around him as well as herself. She then hurried out as fast as possible. She had just made it through the door, when the rest of the roof crashed down with a thunderous noise.

As Jolinar laid down Jonn on the ground, Tennok came running up to them, having heard what had happened. When he saw his son lay on the ground, covered in blood and burns and not moving, he cried out. He turned to look at Jolinar, his face wild.

"What have you done to my son? You evil Goa'uld! Why did you punish an innocent child because of your anger at me?"

Jolinar's eyes glowed. "Fool - get out of my way so I can save him before it is too late!" She took out her healing device and slipped it on, as two men pulled Tennok aside.

Concentrating, Jolinar activated the device and started running it slowly over Jonn, healing the burns and other wounds. Tennok now watched quietly from the side. The others had none too kindly explained to him that Jolinar had risked her own life running into the burning building to save the child. Who, by the way, had been endangered by Tennok's own foolishness when he and his group of rioters had lit a fire without thinking about the consequences.

The others resumed putting out the fires, and eventually succeeded.

Finally, a tired Jolinar allowed the healing device to turn off. The boy had been healed completely and groggily opened his eyes and looked around.

"Father?"

"Jonn! You are alive - and well, it seems." He fell down to his knees beside his son and helped him sit up, then hugged him tightly. When they had talked for a little while, Tennok rose and turned to Merina/Jolinar.

"Merina...Jolinar. I am deeply grateful to you for having saved my son's life. I see now that we...that _I_ was very wrong about you. You may be of the same people as our evil, former Lord Apophis, but I realise now how unfair it was to assume that meant you were the same. I would not call one human being a criminal because I had met another who was - so I should not have suspected a Goa'uld of being evil, just because I know an evil one exists."

Jolinar smiled. "Thank you. I hope we can put this behind us, then, and together work to make this place a better world?"

"I would like that." Tennok smiled, grateful.

Jolinar furrowed her brow. "One thing - you would be wise to continue fearing and suspecting the Goa'uld. Most, unfortunately, are evil. We - the Tok'ra - are but one small group who disagree with their ways and how they treat humans and others. That is why the chaapa'ai must remain buried until you are ready and able to defend yourself against the Goa'uld. _Or_ they are no longer a threat. Hopefully, that day will come."

Having made peace with the leader of the dissenters, Jolinar soon was free of opposition. She was now able to truly work with the villagers to improve as much as possible upon their life and advance their development. Since the population was motivated to become as advanced a civilization as possible before the Goa'uld perhaps arrived in ships, much was quickly accomplished.

-  
300 years later. The planet no longer held just a small collection of villages. It was a planet-wide civilization with several million people. The development had been very fast, and they were now at a level were electricity had been installed in every house.

Merina, who now looked to be in her early thirties, was still host to Jolinar. They had resigned themselves to the fact that a ship would probably never be found and Jolinar would not be able to leave and rejoin the Tok'ra. Not for several centuries yet - not before the population of this world were truly ready to take on the Goa'uld.

Then, one day a Teltac was found buried under the sand and rubble. It was located near a mountain range. In the old books they found tales about a landslide which had hit a landing place for ships long ago. Only one ship was found, but amazingly it was intact.

Merina and Jolinar discussed it for some time, then decided they would leave to search for the Tok'ra. They spent a few more years on the planet, making sure the population was as prepared as possible and that her youngest group of apprentices were ready to stand on their own.

*Do not worry, Jolinar. They will do well...there are now educational institutions to prepare new generations of scientists and technicians. Schools for all sorts of trade needed. Yes, their development will be slower when they have to invent everything themselves, but they _will_ continue developing their society. Besides, it will be good for them to learn to do it on their own.* Merina pointed out.

*I know. I just feel responsible for them.*

*Don't! I know you have done this partly as penance for what you did as a System Lord. And also because you are ashamed at how the Goa'uld have treated this planet, as well as humans and others elsewhere. You are _not_ responsible for that! You are a Tok'ra, _not_ a Goa'uld. It is not your fault.*

-  
And so the day for their departure arrived. An official send-off was arranged, despite Jolinar's protests.

"Thank you...always remember, you must keep the chaapa'ai buried until you are powerful enough to defend yourself against the Goa'uld. Or when they are no longer a threat. I hope very much to be able to visit you when the day comes for you to again join the rest of the galaxy." Jolinar said.

"We will heed your warning - and look forward to seeing you again. Know that you and your people are always welcome here. Please. Do come and visit us from time to time. Perhaps we can trade - and I am certain that sometimes there will be a youngster wishing to fight the Goa'uld more actively...by becoming host to a Tok'ra. Please, when you are in need - come here and see. Sometimes there may be volunteers."

"Thank you. We will not forget you." Jolinar said, knowing well that as the years passed and the memories of both Tok'ra and Goa'uld faded even further into legends, few would want - or even think - to join the Tok'ra. It was, however, worth it to keep the contact. Perhaps they would indeed get some hosts. Besides, Jolinar would always feel some responsibility to them and would like to see how they fared.

When the ceremony and the following celebration were over, Merina/Jolinar went to the Teltac. It had already been loaded with what little they were bringing with them. Soon it lifted off from the world that had been their home for so long.

Unwilling to risk the Tok'ra by contacting them immediately - if indeed they could be quickly contacted - they spent a few years trying to ascertain the status of the Goa'uld and of the Galaxy.

There was very little information to be had about the Tok'ra - which was good. Jolinar heard a few hateful and fearful whispers at one court or another, so she knew they were still out there. Still working towards their goal.

The power structure of the Goa'uld was not much different than it had been those more than 1300 years ago when she had been caught and imprisoned in a stasis jar. She noted with satisfaction that the Tok'ra had managed to keep any one Goa'uld from growing too strong. They had also managed to keep the Goa'uld at each others throats, so that none of them became strong through cooperation. And none trusted each other enough to share information. Which was fortunate for the Tok'ra.

When Merina/Jolinar felt it was safe, they approached the location where they hoped to find some of the Tok'ra hiding. They would be able to lead them to one of the Tok'ra bases and to Egeria.

They arrived on the third of Egeria's planets, late in the afternoon. They had searched the two other of her worlds without finding any trace that the Tok'ra had been there recently.

This planet was a tropical paradise. It was - just as Jolinar remembered - sparingly populated. A few scattered villages were located at some distance from the Stargate. The people had as usual been brought here by the Goa'uld - Ra, in fact. He had not found the planet worth the effort. The naquadah was plentiful enough, but very difficult to mine without using advanced technology. Ra, as all Goa'uld, preferred not to let their slaves work with that, or indeed learn about it. He had more than enough worlds where the naquadah was easy to mine using traditional means. While this planet was paradisiacal, he had more than enough of those worlds as well. Worlds which had a higher level of civilization. Because of that, he had given this and the two neighboring planets to his then new queen Egeria.

Merina/Jolinar's first night on the planet was spent in the village nearest to the Stargate. They were awoken early by people dressed as peasants - bu Jolinar sensed they had symbiotes. Tok'ra! They came to interrogate Merina/Jolinar. After a lengthy questioning session the Tok'ra were finally convinced it was indeed Jolinar who had returned to them. A young, dark-skinned woman stepped forward, smiling.

"I am Selmak. You are very welcome, Jolinar. You have been sorely missed."

"Selmak!" Jolinar gave her a warm hug and smiled broadly. "It is indeed good to see you again."

"You have been gone for a long time. Much has happened, but that is for later. Please - meet my two good friends. This is Ren'al, her host is Simja. The very suspicious man who kept asking you more questions - long after I believed you - is Garshaw of Belote. The host's name is Rilek. They are in hiding here, pretending to be a villager, and are currently helping us with Egeria's children. Garshaw is a former System Lord, just like you, who has continued to cause the Goa'uld much trouble - and who has become the most hunted of all times. More than you even. However, this place is safe. The Goa'uld do not bother coming here."

The little group spent some time talking and getting Jolinar up to speed on all that had happened during her absence. Then they came to the most important - but also least pleasant - news. Egeria had disappeared some weeks ago, shortly after leaving the planet. She had been spending a month or so here with her youngest batch - one she had spawned a few months ago. She had then intended to travel to one of the Tok'ra bases, but on the way something must have happened. She had never arrived. The Tok'ra knew that Ra had recently decided he wanted his revenge on Egeria. Thus she might have gone into hiding. That, at least, was what the Tok'ra hoped.

Jolinar/Merina stayed for a few days before they left. Jolinar wanted to look for Egeria, and Merina agreed with her 'headmate'.

-  
It took them several months to find someone with useful information about Egeria's whereabouts. Eventually they found their way to the house of a peasant. It turned out Egeria had befriended the eldest daughter by coincidence. She - Sannya - was a headstrong woman who had just turned 25. She had convinced her family they should hide Egeria for a while. Egeria and she had spent much time talking and they had quickly become good friends.

When Sannya was finally convinced Jolinar truly was a Tok'ra, she agreed to tell her all she knew. She would also show Jolinar the men who had been in the group that captured Egeria. She had seen them, as she had been walking with Egeria when they came. She had quickly hidden in a bush, but she had not left. Of course, she had been unable to do anything to help Egeria. The men that had taken her were Jaffa. _Ra's_ Jaffa. It had happened almost a month ago.

Sannya took Jolinar to the Jaffa village. At a distance she pointed out those three guards who had captured Egeria. Jolinar decided to return when it was dark, and see if she could catch one of them when he stood guard alone somewhere. He might be 'persuaded' to give her some useful information.

The first night she was unsuccessful, but the second night she had better luck. She caught one of the Jaffa and forced him to tell her all he knew - which, unfortunately, was not much. Egeria had been delivered to one of Ra's palaces, and then the guards had left. Jolinar decided to see if she might be able to sneak inside and find further information in the palace. There might still be something to find, despite a month having passed since Egeria was taken there.

Merina/Jolinar snuck inside in the deep of night. They managed to locate a computer which was not guarded. Jolinar quickly began going through the information on it, searching for any mentioning of Egeria.

She had just found a short entry which mentioned Egeria having been brought in and 'taken care of', when she heard footsteps. She also sensed several symbiotes. Jaffa!

With regret, she hurriedly shut off the computer and desperately looked for a place to hide. Finding none, she stood beside the door, zat'nik'tel at the ready. Perhaps she could shoot her way out.

Moments later the door was kicked open. Then everything happened very fast. She got the two first Jaffa with her zat'nik'tel and grabbed one of the staff weapons. She hit the next Jaffa hard over the head with it and he went down. Meanwhile, yet another Jaffa entered and aimed his staff weapon at her, but she hit the weapon hard and it fell to the floor. The Jaffa had drawn his knife and planted it in her shoulder as she pushed him aside and ran out, jumping through the first window she saw. She had not had time to open it, so she fell amid plenty of glass. She had been on the second floor and hit the ground hard. Nevertheless, she managed to get up and ran swiftly, despite the multitude of cuts and bruises she had sustained.

Just as she made it to the woods, a staff blast hit her in the side, and another in the back, felling her. Before darkness took her, she felt someone pulling her away.

A/N: Only one more chapter to go.


	16. Home

-  
She woke up not long after, thinking that she must have been captured. The pain immediately told her that she had not been thrown in a sarcophagus. With difficulty, she opened her eyes and could vaguely see someone in the darkness. She was clearly still in the forest - hidden under something, perhaps the roots of a fallen tree.

Whomever it was noticed she was awake.

"Shhh...I believe the Jaffa are far away, but it is better to be quiet for some time yet."

"Sannya?" Jolinar managed, weakly. She then turned inwards and searched desperately for her host. She finally felt her - unconscious and probably too far gone to ever wake up again. Jolinar tried to stem the blood and heal the many wounds, but they were far too severe. The only way her host would live was with the help of a sarcophagus. Jolinar considered for a short while if there was a way for her to get her to one. Then she realised this would only lead to an endless cycle of torture, death, and revival. And it would end up with her host being killed anyway. She could not do that to her. She, herself, would end up either dead as well or again placed in a stasis jar. Besides, she could _not_ start using a sarcophagus again. She knew what they did to you - which was why the Tok'ra - _her_ people - did not use it.

"Sannya..." she coughed. "Thank you for making sure the Jaffa did not find us. Please, there is just one more thing I must ask of you. Take my zat'nik'tel and vaporize me. Shoot three times. And then get as far away from here as possible before they come back!"

"Jolinar! NO! I am _saving_ you!"

"That, I am afraid, is too late. My host will most likely never wake up again - which is really for the best, as we are in a lot of pain. Too much for me to block fully. I cannot heal her - she will die in a very short time, and soon after I so will I."

"_No_! You are Egeria's friend - so you are also my friend. You must _live_ - to return to the Tok'ra with what news there is of her. Is there nothing that can be done? Can your wounds not be healed in any way?"

"I, myself, are not wounded, but my host is beyond my ability to heal. Without a host I will not live long outside of very special environments."

"But...if you got a new host you would live?"

"Yes."

"Then...then I volunteer."

"You are certain of this?"

"Yes...yes, I am."

"If so...then I am grateful. Please, come closer - bend over me as if you would kiss me and open your mouth."

Sannya did so. Jolinar said goodbye to her unconscious, dying host and gave her a hug - hoping she could somehow feel it. Moments later she was in a new host, busily putting out nerve filaments and otherwise connecting herself to everything. A full blending would have to wait until they were in a safer location.

-  
Later. They had managed to sneak out of the forest and were now waiting for morning in an old, abandoned building.

*Do not misunderstand me. I am extremely grateful that you were there. You have saved my life...but why did you follow me? I told you it would be dangerous and that you should stay in the village.*

*As I said earlier, Egeria was my friend. I consider you my friend as well...and you have been friends with her for far longer than I have lived. I wanted to see if there was anything I could help you with. I guess I felt...responsible. Jolinar, tell me, what did you learn about Egeria?*

*Not much, I'm afraid. I did not have time to read the full entry - if all was even written there - before the Jaffa came. I _did_ learn that she was brought in and that she had been 'taken care of' as they called it. It means she was either killed or put in a stasis jar - like I once was. I can only hope it was the latter, and that she is not forever lost to us.* Jolinar sounded very sad, now mourning both her host and her friend.

Sannya was quiet for a long while, not knowing how to respond. Then she suddenly remembered something.

*What I am about to tell you, Egeria told me to relay to the Tok'ra, if any should ever show up. If no one came, I were to ensure someone else carried on the knowledge and could eventually inform your people. Let's see...she said...'_Hidden like my oldest friend; three are waiting; each of their worlds a first_'.*

*Are you sure that is what she said? It does not make any sense!*

*Yes, I am sure. It doesn't make sense to me either, but I had hoped it would to you.*

Jolinar thought for some time. *It is code, of course. She could not say her secret in the clear, if it were something of great importance. If those knowing it should be caught, they must not have the information easily accessible. On the other hand, it must be something we can guess - maybe something only the Tok'ra can figure out?*

*Yes, I agree.*

*I believe _I_ am her oldest friend, and I was indeed hidden. As far as Egeria knew, I was still in a stasis jar in an unknown location when she told you that riddle. I don't know who or what it is that is hidden and waiting, but perhaps...presumably...it is some_one_ hidden in a stasis jar?* Jolinar mulled it over for some time. *It could be daughters - _queens_! That she has hidden for us - if we are very lucky. But where? The only 'first world' I know of is the Tau'ri. Or it might perhaps refer to the original home world of the Goa'uld, but its location has been lost in antiquity, so I doubt it...I don't know. In either case, that would explain the need for secrecy. I will think about it, but for now we should return to the Tok'ra with what little information we have about Egeria.*

-  
Jolinar and her new host travelled to the planet where Egeria had spawned what might easily prove to be her last clutch. After having again gone through a lengthy interrogation to prove who she was, Jolinar was told where to find the Tok'ra council. Selmak was currently leading it, and Garshaw had now also become a member, as had Ren'al. Jolinar gave a report on everything that had happened, except for the riddle, which she decided to look further into before telling them about. Cordesh, too, had joined the Tok'ra while Jolinar had been in stasis, and he had even been admitted on the council. Jolinar still only trusted him with some reservations, but no one else seemed to have problems, so she kept her mouth shut.

Afterwards, Sannya/Jolinar volunteered to spend their time taking care of the youngest Tok'ra as well as look for hosts for them when they matured.

It was a peaceful time for Jolinar. The planet was pleasant and peaceful, as were the villagers living on it. She soon found she enjoyed looking after the Tok'ra children. She had originally volunteered because she felt responsible for her good friend's children - and for not having been able to learn what had happened to their mother and perhaps save her. To her surprise she liked the job.

-  
Sannya/Jolinar were relaxing on the green grass beside the small lake which the symbiotes lived in. They had just spent several hours playing with them and then bringing them food. The symbiotes were now old enough to not be in any danger from the fish in the pond, so they had recently been allowed to come out from the smaller enclosure. They still loved being played with, as well as being held and caressed.

Sannya/Jolinar had started to fall asleep in the warm sun, when one of the other Tok'ra - a young man called Rada/Ke'val - called for them.

"Sannya! Jolinar! Please come and help!"

*What now?* They got up. "Coming." Jolinar answered.

When they came over to the lake-side, Rada pointed at a young symbiote who looked slightly embarrassed, but mostly just defiant.

"Talk to him! He listens to you!"

Jolinar sighed. "What did Lantash do _now_?"

"He swam into the water-filled caves of the mountain _again_. Afterwards, when I had told him to stay out of the caves, he played in the waterfall. He is impossible, and he encourages the others to do the same. It is _dangerous_."

"I will talk to him." She allowed herself to slide down into the water and part walked, part swam to the symbiote.

"Squeeel." He rubbed himself against her arm.

"Don't try to ingratiate yourself with me. You know full well you have behaved badly, Lantash. You _know_ you shouldn't swim into the caves - or play in the waterfall for that matter. It is dangerous. We don't want you to be hurt." Jolinar admonished.

Lantash mumbled something to the effect of being more careful in the future.

*I don't know if he meant more careful and not do dangerous stuff, or more careful not to be detected...*

*He is a rascal, but I can't blame him for wanting to explore the world. I understand his curiosity. It must be boring to just swim around in the water.*

*He can play with his siblings - and whatever there is in the lake...stones, plants, fish...* Jolinar pointed out.

*True, but even if it is _far_ more exciting than it must have been to grow up in a Jaffa pouch - like you did - I am still not surprised by his desire to explore.*

*He even crawls up on that flat stone you know, and looks out as far as he can. Then he takes a quick dip and crawls up again!*

*Well, at least he is protected from bird attacks by that stone-outcropping of the cliff above. He is also not the only one doing that. Anise is as curious as he is - as are many of the others.*

*Yes, but Anise seems somewhat more careful.*

*She is just better at hiding it. Lantash doesn't always do that well - and he often has an unfortunate tendency to talk before thinking, so he almost always gets found out when he tries to hide something.*

They realised Lantash was nipping their right hand gently. "Squeeeel, squeek?"

*He wants attention - he wants to be caressed!*

*He doesn't deserve it!* Jolinar said, but started stroking the symbiote anyway. He made small, satisfied sounds.

*You do know he has a crush on you - don't you?*

Jolinar sighed. *Yes, I know.*

-  
Several years later, the youngest of Egeria's clutches had all matured and taken their first hosts. They had then been sent to various bases for their training. Jolinar left to work undercover again, wanting a more active life, after years of passivity.

-  
Many years had now passed - more than 450 years since Jolinar had rejoined the Tok'ra. She had been on a very long term undercover mission. Close to 300 years had been spent on one single mission were she had daringly infiltrated Zipacna's court and risen to become his second in command. Eventually this became too dangerous, and she disappeared, returning to the Tok'ra. Fortunately, the Goa'uld still did not share information, and she soon left for new missions. These were varied, but still relatively long term. Eventually she had returned to base to help with some security measures. Also, there were some new information about what _might_ have happened to Egeria. Not much new was eventually learned, though.

Now Jolinar had just acquired a new host, and felt ready to again take on missions as an undercover agent. She had been transferred to a new base and had just arrived there.

She had been welcomed by Garshaw, and they had talked a little about old times. Garshaw was now a full grand councillor, and tried to convince Jolinar to join the council. However, that was still not something she wanted to be bothered with. Garshaw had been much hunted during the years - more even than Jolinar, and had chosen to take a female host some time ago, in an attempt to better hide. She liked the relative peace and quiet on the council and at home in the tunnels, and doubted she would chose to go on missions again any time soon.

After a little while, Garshaw spotted a young Tok'ra walking past them in the tunnels, looking interestedly at Jolinar.

"Lantash...this is Rosha and Jolinar who have just been transferred here. Could you please show them the base and the room where they will stay?"

"Yes, Garshaw. With pleasure." Lantash said, as he turned to Rosha/Jolinar and smiled.

THE END.

A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! I'm considering a sort-of sequel, about Jolinar's life as an undercover agent, but I don't know when I will get that written.


End file.
